A few years ago, there was a questionnaire circling about who would you chose as your bodyguard (including fictional). The three choices that kept coming back were Sarah Conner, Ellen Ripley and Vasquez. So I’m going to put a feminist twist on it: choose three women you would choose to fight side-by-side with. It can be book, film, tv, anime, manga, any other media that’s there. If she exists outside your imagination and you can justify it , she counts.
The Rules: No-one from the Terminator or Alien series. Sorry, but too obvious.
My pick:
1. Ellie Linton from John Marsden’s Tomorrow series. The girl is a teenage MacGyver. She makes bombs out of the bits and pieces she finds lying around.
2. Minerva McGonagall from the Harry Potter series. I know it sounds odd, but at one point in Deathly Hallows, she’s all ‘get your shit together, Voldemort is coming’.
3. Gina ‘Mother’ Newman, from Matthew Reilly’s Scarecrow series. Mother is short for motherfucker. She’s faced killer whales, rats to her face, terrorists from pretty much every country in the world. (Apart from Reilly’s Australia. We have no terrorists, no sireee.) They all died. She lived.
So let me know what you think. I’d love to compile a list of kick-ass females that doesn’t involve Aliens or Terminator.
{ 65 comments… read them below or add one }
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Is Hermione Granger too obvious? That girl knows everything and she’s not afraid to use it. If she was out, I’d accept Valentine Wiggin from Ender’s Game as a suitable replacement.
I’ll also take Kate Austin from Lost and Nanami from Suikoden II, even though both of them can be annoying as hell.
Palaverer(Quote) (Reply)
Utena from Shoujo Kakumei Utena. If she’s fighting for what she believes in, even in the face of a thousand swords raining down on her, she will not stop.
Fiona, from Burn Notice. She’s afraid of absolutely nothing, and always has all the weapons you’d need. And if she doesn’t, she can make them out of common household items.
River Song from Doctor Who. She’s just plain awesome.
Mintywolf(Quote) (Reply)
1. Alanna of Trebond from The Song of the Lioness by Tamora Pierce. Because she is hardcore and tells it straight, which is my kind of woman.
2. Samantha Carter from Stargate SG-1. Because she solves problems intelligently but can kick arse when need be.
3. Granny Weatherwax from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld. I’m not sure I could fight alongside Granny Weatherwax because I would be too intimidated! But on the plus side she would ‘headology’ the pants off anyone we were fighting!!
groovyjoss(Quote) (Reply)
I’d pick
1. Genkai from Yu Yu Hakusho. Seriously, she’s an awesome fighter even in old age and she is very wise.
2.The Powerpuff girls. If I have to pick one it would be Buttercup because she has super speed and laser vision.
3. Maka from Soul Eater. She defeated the big bad with bravery and her bare fists.
If had to go into a zombie infested graveyard to defeat my evil twin who so happens to be a necromancer with Dracula as a body guard, this would be the team I bring with me.
Dina Bow(Quote) (Reply)
I love the “Tomorrow” series, seriously. So awesome.
Gunnery Sergeant Torin Kerr from Tanya Huff’s “Valor” series. I could tell you all about how she defeated the army of big angry sentient lizards to make the species want to join the Confederation, or about her outsmarting a giant smart-plastic alien entity, or single-handedly taking down a huge space-piracy organisation, or the toughness, or the sense of humour (always a plus in life-or-death situations!). But really? She’s a gunny. What else do I need to say?
Alianne (Aly) of Pirate’s Swoop, Spymistress, from Tamora Pierce’s “Trickster” duology. Mostly because she is SNEAKY SNEAKY SMART, though she’s also wicked good with a pair of knives, and can see magic and poison. While it’s all very well to have big fierce warriors, who doesn’t want a woman who can make your enemies start fighting each other with a clever campaign of misinformation, or tell you if there’s a curse on that shiny red apple?
Olivia Dunham, from Fringe. She’s badass, she has investigative skills and the resources of the FBI at her fingertips, and she’s a Cortexefan kid (which I’ll leave unspoiled for those who haven’t seen it yet, which, if you are one, what are you doing reading this stupid comment, go watch Fringe right now). Also it seems like she’d be really chill to hang out with.
Actually, I can see all of these people getting along okay, even Aly (though the other two might get bored of being teased), which is a good thing to consider.
goshawk(Quote) (Reply)
Nah, I figured that they count so long as you can justify and it doesn’t come from the Terminator or Alien series. I actually wrote an article about the women of Harry Potter last year, and done again, I wouldn’t include them, although I thought Maggie Smith brought something really special to the role in DH PtII. (‘Boom!’ ‘I always wanted to use that spell!’ ‘His name is Voldemort, Filius, you may as well use it, he’s going to try and kill you either way’.. yeah, OK, I spend FAR too much time watching these movies…)
Gabriella(Quote) (Reply)
I second every recommendation I actually know here, but I think I can come up with three that haven’t been mentioned.
1. Mara Jade from the Timothy Zahn Star Wars novels. Trained by the Emperor – she fights equally well physically or psychologically, and I think she and I have pretty much identical attitudes and outlooks.
2. Sandra Pullman from New Tricks. As a cop, she fights more psychologically than physically, but her ability to size people up and figure out what’ll stop them in their tracks is just too valuable to do without.
3. Sydney Bristow. Without even being armed, she can defend herself and take out enemies. Plus, she really thinks on her feet and has ridiculous amounts of combat experience.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Only 3? That’s a shame. I’ll have to choose wisely, then! Hmm…
1. Blossom from The Powerpuff Girls. She’s a natural leader, a child prodigy in math and science, and she’s highly dedicated to doing good. She also has over 20 superpowers. Super Strength, Super Speed, Flight, Ice Breath, Shrinking, Duplication, Heat Vision, Enhanced Senses…The list goes on.
2. Sari Sumdac from Transformers Animated (Third Season. She was lovable in the first 2 seasons, but wasn’t battle-worthy until the upgrade of her hidden inner circuitry). Though impulsive, she’s also extremely brave and loyal.
Because of her techno-organic nature, Sari have enhanced strength, and can decipher the inner workings of any machine just by touching it. This ability will even work on broken or incomplete machines, as they will “tell” her what they need to work. Oh, and those same hands can shoot spheres of energy.
3. Cynthia from the Pokemon series. She doesn’t have any super powers, but she is calm, wise, and supportive. As the champion trainer, she’s well-versed in battle strategy. Those Pokemon of hers, all but 1 female themselves, boast elemental powers unmatched throughout the game.
(Choosing Cynthia may be cheating, though. It technically breaks the number limit and the criteria of only female bodyguards. Then again, the Pokemon are basically acting as an extension of her will and represent her hard-earned training credit. Thoughts?)
Sorry about the wall of text, but those would be my choices. I feel safer already!
LarrydaLaptop(Quote) (Reply)
I know! And I find Ellie to be very realistic. I mean, I know jack about living in the bush, farm life etc but through all ten books I found myself nodding and thinking ‘yes, I can see someone with her upbringing doing that in that scenario’. Don’t get me wrong, I love mother precicely for how OTT badass Mother is, but sometimes it’s all ‘oh, look, ANOTHER overwhelming obstacle where she’ll wipe the floor with the opposition’.
Gabriella(Quote) (Reply)
1. Granny Weatherwax (Terry Pratchett’s Discworld). This old lady is tough as nails, smart, unafraid of pretty much everything, and probably has the strongest will of any character I know. Plus, the headology. Though, yes, she can be quite intimidating even when you’re on her side, but that’s part of her charm.
2. Jaheira (Baldur’s Gate series). She’s a half-elven fighter and druid, a member of the Harpers (a group of dedicated do-gooders, basically). On top of being brave, fierce, smart and out-spoken, she remains loyal and dedicated to her beliefs and cause even through immense losses.
3. Pippi Longstockings (Astrid Lindgren). Yes, she’s a little kid and yes, her being from childrens’ stories mean she wouldn’t do so well in a real fight. But I had to mention her because when I was a little girl desperately looking for role models in a world that told me women were, almost without exception, stupid, vain, naggy, needy, annoying, shallow, afraid of everything, weak, incompetent and thoroughly unwanted, she was just about the only character that stood out as anything but. She’s literally strong enough to lift her horse with several people sitting on it, completely independent and cheerfully determined to remain so, generous, brave and adventurous. In a fight, she can just chuck people into a tree or out a window, or tie knots into their weapons.
I’d have loved to nominate the original Tyrande Whisperwind from WarCraft, but what Blizzard did with and to her ever since her introduction utterly mangled, gutted and destroyed everything that made me and many others love her.
Korva(Quote) (Reply)
1 Aeryn Sun, a soldier since well- birth, recently learned to think for herself. Also shooting makes her feel better
2 Buffy Summers for obvious reasons
3 Nikita, haven’t seen the new version but the old one could kick ass and take names and is really loyal to the people she cares about.
If I could appoint a leader for our little fightin’ outfit it would be Devon Adair from Earth 2. Smart, optimistic and gets things done.
Maartje(Quote) (Reply)
Fight side by side with, or hide behind, because all these women would be incalculably more badass than me.
But that aside, and trying not to duplicate any suggestions:
Helen Magnus from Sanctuary: Centuries of experience; fighter, investigator, and superscientist.
Tara Chace from Greg Rucka’s Queen and Country: Superspy and all round hardass.
Paige Winterbourne from Women of the Otherworld: Another investigator, and a witch.
I could see them working together, although Tara might get exasperated with Paige from time to time.
SunlessNick(Quote) (Reply)
1. Rose Hathaway from the Vampire Academy series. This is a really obvious choice because Rose has been trained to become a bodyguard since her childhood. She’s smart, super strong and 100% dedicated to protecting the people she feels responsible for.
2. Brienne of Tarth from A Song of Ice and Fire. Not only is she tall, strong and a skilled fighter, but also is she the most honourable and stubborn woman ever. If she promises to protect you, she’s going to do it, even if she hates your guts, even if she has to sacrifice everything she holds dear in order to fulfill her vow.
3. Bo from Lost Girl. She has unique magical powers, knows how to use any weapon and used to be a professional barkeeper before she started fighting evil. Bo’s usual method of protecting someone is: inviting you to crash on her sofa while she uses some clever trick to get rid of the people who are after you and then take you out for drinks.
Yep, that’s my choices. Also, I think my 3 bodyguards would get along great together. They have very different personalities yet share some similarities like defying social norms so that they can stay true to themselves.
M.C.(Quote) (Reply)
Off the top of my head? Olivia Dunham from Fringe, Wonder Woman, and Mattie from True Grit. (The remake.)
First runner up is Eowyn from LOTR. We’d be a very driven group.
Ragnell(Quote) (Reply)
Hmm… If we can only have 3, I think I’ll make a nice balanced team of a melee fighter, a ranged fighter and a (incredibly badass) healer – what can I say, I’m a gamer at heart!
1. Balsa from Moribito: Guardian of the Spirit. A spear for hire, she’s devoted herself to saving lives to make up for her past sins – she’s honourable, intelligent and she never, ever gives up. Also, it’s nice for once to see a physically strong woman who’s actually allowed to have some muscles on her. You can really BELIEVE that she can take on four elite assassins with a broken weapon and WIN -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ7VPR0i85o
2. Homura from Madoka. She chooses to become a magical girl in a world where they exist just to be beaten down (I won’t elaborate any more than that because holy spoilers!). She watches her best friend/possible lover die over and over and over again and never gives up hope or stops trying to save her, so I would definitely want her on my side in a fight. It also helps that she has time manipulation powers, and is pretty handy with bombs and machine guns. (If you want to see a show all about teenage girls being amazing and Fighting The Patriarchy – or at least that’s how I choose to interpret it – go watch Madoka!)
3. Sharla from Xenoblade Chronicles, because when things go down you want someone who can patch you up again C: She’s an experienced battle medic, one of the last survivors of her destroyed hometown, and so so fierce! (Facing down a massive robotic monstrosity, “I won’t stop until I’ve scrapped every last one of you!” AWESOME.)
Copper(Quote) (Reply)
1. Kono Kalakaua from the H50 reboot. In what is generally a wasteland of bad writing but pretty, PRETTY scenery (landscape and human), Kono is smart, loyal, cool under pressure and can demonstrably kick butt.
2. Seconding Olivia Dunham. I <3 her so, she needs to be listed more than once anyway.
3. Ziva David, NCIS. Yes, she leans toward being Practically Perfect In Every Possible Way, but there is zero doubt that she can more than handle herself while handling pretty much everyone else at the same time.
sbg(Quote) (Reply)
Andrea Nash from the Kate Daniels series by Ilona Andrews. She’s a sharpshooter with gun or crossbow for ranged attacks, can transform into a hyena monster for melee attacks, and is very good at quoting laws and rulebooks to stop from the fight from starting in the first place. (My first impulse was Kate herself – but while Kate does more damage, she’s definitely not a team player.)
Torin Kerr from the Confederation series by Tanya Huff, for all the reasons goshawk listed, but also: she’s equally good at taking orders and giving them. Essential for proper teamwork.
Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan, from the Vorkosigan Saga by Lois McMaster Bujold. Starts out as a scientist, gets drafted into a makeshift military, ends two wars, raises a child-emperor, and settles into a quiet retirement as the Vicereine of an entire planet. She’d be a formidable foe at any point during her life.
Sylvia Sybil(Quote) (Reply)
I just wanted to mention that this has been a really fun thread that also shows there are a lot more kick-ass female characters out there than any one of us could think of quickly. Any interest in future threads like this? Ones aimed at naming smart women character, or female characters we feel we could be “buddies” with (since women are too envious and catfighting to do the buddy thing, ya know)?
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Or how about: You’re stranded on a deserted island, you can choose 3 women to come with you and help you survive/escape.
M.C.(Quote) (Reply)
Jennifer Kesler,
Totally. How about women you’d want around in a disaster?
SunlessNick(Quote) (Reply)
Modesty Blaise. She’s all cute and tiny, can kick anyone’s ass at hand-to-hand combat, and can (and will!) turn anything into a weapon.
Star Svensdottir, from Dana Stabenow’s books. A Valkyrie wielding a Louisville Slugger who can build and run her own space colony.
Granny Weatherwax. What they said upthread.
Maid (sort of), mother, and crone: among them they could meet and defeat any sort of enemy. And (imo) they’d work well together, despite each of them being used to sole command – they’ve all shown respect for the expertise and ideas of others.
I wouldn’t want to fight alongside them so much as I’d want to fetch them iced tea and made them sandwiches while they dismissed me as cargo and did the heavy lifting. I’m not much in a fight.
iiii(Quote) (Reply)
Or interesting women you’d invite to a dinner party…
I can’t believe how much fun we’ve had on this thread (or how good people have been about contributing someone new once someone’s said something). I’ve got to get to work, but I’m going to think about this and hopefully have another choose-your-three-type-post ready for next week.
Also, can’t believe no-one (including myself) thought of Xena. Does she really need an explaination?
Gabriella(Quote) (Reply)
Gabriella,
Whoa, yes, Xena. And Gabrielle, by later seasons. Where was my mind??? And then there were some baddies on Xena you wouldn’t mind having on side if you could be sure of their loyalty: Callisto, Alti… eh, it’s been a while, but that show was pretty full of women who’d make excellent body guards.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Jennifer Kesler,
Oh, yes! Actually, this reminds me of “Female Besties”, too. That thread filled up pretty quickly.
Sylvia Sybil(Quote) (Reply)
1. The female version of Commander Shepard from the Mass Effect games. She’s the first, last and best hope for not only humanity, but all life in the galaxy, hell, she’s already saved all life from a race of homicidal, uber-powered machines.
Granted, I would prefer Paragon (pure hero, reliance on persuasion and peaceful resolutions) over Renegade (anti-hero, snarky, aggressive, relies on intimidation), but no matter how you play Commander Shepard, she is an amazing badass. Plus, she’s finally getting the recognition she deserves, since FemShep is now going to be in the trailers as well as ManShep.
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/265/femshep.png/
2. Bayonetta from the game of the same name.
She may be overly-sexualised, but she’s snarky, elegant, confident and kicks so much ass it’s practically unholy. She can destroy abominations with dragons and giant limbs made out of her own hair. As far as ‘feminine weapons’ (how her creator described it) go, that is seriously epic.
3. Karin Murphy from the Dresden Files.
I have a weakness for ‘cute bruisers’, and so far (I’ve read up to Turn Coat) she is a really good one. She’s realistically affected by trauma, while still being as hard as nails when needed, is loyal, and is just a damn good person. She’s comparable to Paragon FemShep in my eyes; a good person who will get the job done and save as many lives as possible while doing so.
SarahSyna(Quote) (Reply)
kira nerys from deep space nine. former resistance fighter, complete badass, and someone who’s made a career out of overcoming overwhelming odds. i consider her the strongest character on the series, whether as a fighter, as a leader, or, hell, ethically.
the boss from metal gear solid 3. in a series with vampires and psychics and super soldiers of all kinds she’s the one who every character looks up to as the ultimate badass, and she’s earned this reputation without a single silly supernatural power.
zoe washburne from firefly. just… so awesome. totally wish we’d gotten to see more of her.
Finbarr Ryan(Quote) (Reply)
Ooooh, Nerys!
There are so many women mentioned in this thread that leave me going, “Why on earth didn’t she come to mind?”, LOL.
For that matter, Jadzia Dax could hold her own sparring with a Klingon, so she’d certainly come in handy in a pinch.
Someone else I thought of today: Louise McCloud from Young Riders. She’s plenty competent in a gun fight, but almost more importantly, she absolutely will not give up and has a sense of justice a mile wide.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Like Starbuck-reverse-engineer-an-alien-spaceship-and-fly-it-home from the remake of Battlestar Galactica. For that matter, the entire female cast from that show.
Gabriella(Quote) (Reply)
Copper,
SQUEE! Balsa! That’s awesome someone else know about her. She’s my top pick for bodyguard. Totally agree, I love that she has muscles that looks like she could take down several guys. She inspired me to hit the gym not to slim down, but to look strong and ripped. She’s also a calm, smart, highly capable and competent person.
My other two picks are Xena and River Song.
Lika(Quote) (Reply)
Aren’t you afraid River would abandon you and let you die as soon as her Only Reason For Existence (aka the Doctor) calls her away? Never trust a woman who would let the whole universe disintegrate because to her that’s better than being without her man.
M.C.(Quote) (Reply)
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