Commercials I Hate

I think most of these speak for themselves. Rather than embed, I’m going to provide links where I can – I don’t want to blow up the front page.

First up: Just when I thought Twix couldn’t really get any worse with their “Need a Moment” campaign (Seriously, people need a moment to decide whether or not to be jerks, or how to try to pretty up their questionable behavior? How is this supposed to be a great way to sell anything?), they’ve gone ahead and updated one of their commercials. Good news! It’s interactive, so the viewer can choose between two options at various stages.

Both of which ultimately end up in asshattery. I can’t tell you how awful I find it that Mr. Average Joe is trying so hard to get a woman into his apartment when she doesn’t seem particularly interested. Since this is an “interactive love story”, I imagine eventually Mr. Average Joe gets the girl in the end – I just couldn’t stomach playing the whole thing out.

Next: The Geico money-with-googly-eyes commercials freak me out on a good day, but this one right here? Ups the creep-factor a billion times by having the googly-eyed money send anon text to a woman. Geico, just so you know, a woman’s not going to look puzzled if an anonymous person texts “I’m watching you.” to her – she’s probably going to become alarmed. Quickly. I don’t care if it’s just a stack of money with plastic eyes slapped on top of it – it’s not funny.

And last: T-Mobile. I’ve actually considered getting a cell phone on and off for awhile, but for the life of me I can’t find a company whose ads don’t piss me off in some way. In the latest batch of T-Mobile commercials, they seem to be quite content pimping out Catherine Zeta-Jones. Because nothing sells cell phone plans like cleavage and a sultry look. You don’t need facts – facts don’t work if they’re told to people by serious-looking professionals (who are “ugly”). And by people, I mean men – because that seems to be the demographic being sought by the CZJ pimpage. Start young, boys. Start young.

Creepy.

What commercials make your list this week for being offensive to women and various other groups? Commercials that demonstrate that just because something is so commonplace doesn’t mean we shouldn’t get pissed about it. AKA: It’s only an ad – relax!!1! It’s funny!

Comments

  1. Dom Camus says

    Note that these ads still have their YouTube ratings enabled.

    Not that I want to influence your voting in any way, but their current ratings seem oddly high to me. That and giving out one star ratings is so much fun… ;-)

  2. sbg says

    I amaze myself with my own naiveté, in that I’m always, always stunned at how many people think this shit is hilarious. Of course, that’s precisely why advertisements are important on so many issues – they play into so many ugly stereotypes, and often for a laugh.

  3. Pocket Nerd says

    I don’t have cable, and I have so little interest in television I haven’t even bothered putting up an antenna for free networks. Pretty much anything I want to see is available either online or on DVD (and I can get a two whole seasons of a series on DVD for the cost of one month of cable). I don’t see a lot of ads.

    That said, I do see some ads on Hulu. Most are reasonably highbrow—I suspect they can guess at my demographic by the the shows I watch—but sweet merciless tapdancing Cthulu, those commercials for Axe grooming products are annoying. I used the stuff back when it was new, and it was actually pretty decent… but when I noticed every single one of their commercials were exploitive, and generally dumb as a bag of rocks to boot, I lost interest.

    Yes, Axe, your commercials were so fucking obnoxious I stopped buying your stuff.

  4. The Other Patrick says

    Wow. the interactive thing is vile. First, it’s better to get a woman to your (dirty and unkempt, as we will see) apartment by lying to her about blogging (even if you don’t own a computer) instead of telling her you think she’s sexy?

    Then she has a gay friend you can make sulk and cry on the spot, or you can simply squash his hand because even a douchebag can squash a whiny sissy and make him go away.

    Next, the woman has a ridiculous ex-boyfriend show up and, when he shows her the beautiful new woman he’s with, causes her to literally run after him to win him back?

    And when we reach that slobby apartment nobody should invite anyone into, telling her robbers stole your computer leads her first to believe they also trashed the place (and soiled all the dirty clothes, plausibly) but also to then find this totally sexy and jump into bed with you?

    The only happy ending was telling her the truth in the end and being tasered, even though the moral was: “be honest – get tasered, keep up the charade – get laid”.

    Simply fucking awful.

  5. Kimberly B. says

    My least favorite commercials lately are the ones for KGB—which is ironic, because I actually passed the testing to work for them. (KGB is basically a site where you text in questions and they look up the answers for you, in case people don’t know!). I think this site already mentioned the one where the woman doesn’t know her extensions are of yak hair, which is really offensive and I think only partly accurate (I think extensions are made of various materials). The one I hate right now is where a guy is looking for lingerie for his wife or girlfriend (which of course gives him an opportunity to ogle the saleswoman) and the KGB girl says the answer is to find the size by comparing her breasts to fruit. Because, you know, when I buy a bra the tag always says “grapefruit” rather, say, 38C. So icky!
    And KGB also had a commercial where a whole classroom full of students can’t answer a question the teacher asks and the KGB folks come up with the answer. As an educator, I think that sets a bad example—if the students are expected to know something, it should be in their notes. (I know that doesn’t really relate to the subject matter of this site, but it still irks me!).

  6. sbg says

    Wow, Other Patrick, now I’m really glad I didn’t play along with the Twix interactive vid. Vile is too nice a word for it.

  7. sbg says

    the KGB girl says the answer is to find the size by comparing her breasts to fruit. Because, you know, when I buy a bra the tag always says “grapefruit” rather, say, 38C. So icky!

    And the boyfriend exclaiming in pervy awe about his girlfriend’s breasts being “melons”. Yeah. That’s cute.

  8. Casey says

    For the longest time Twix commercial has made me feel icky/enraged. I recall first watching it on TV at my friend’s house and he described the whole charade of the guy trying to con the girl into his bed as “consensual rape”. I was a knee-jerk reactionary rape apologist then (I was young and easily swayed and listening to a lot of Opie and Anthony back then) and tried to convince him “Well that’s not EXACTLY IT~!!” but I’m thinking more and more that he was onto something.

    I used to think the Geico googly-eyed money commercials were cute (still kinda do, curse those googly eyes!), and the only thing that was off-putting was how the (white) emo skateboarder girl was glowering at the main character….but WOW. Yes I WOULD be freaked out if someone texted “I’m Watching You”. YIKES.

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