If Only, If Only

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I don’t know if this is showing in America, but there’s this new advert for Rustlers. Briefly,a guy brings a date back to his flat, she asks for a coffee and sits down on the sofa – once in the kitchen, he presses some microwave-esque controls, and seconds later she’s stretched out in lingerie, looking inviting. A voice over then says: “If only everything was as quick as Rustlers.”

Yeah. If only getting a woman to want you was a pushbutton operation. If only we could dispense with all that stuff about women having agency and deciding who they want to bed.

If they wanted a joke about using microwave controls to get around a tedious wait, why not the delay at an airport departure lounge? Getting around a job interview? The time it takes to get a car repaired? To get meta-, how about an overly long ad-break? But no, it had to be a woman; obviously nothing else was so suitable to be compared to a piece of meat.

Comments

  1. Jennifer Kesler says

    I can’t really add anything to what you’ve said here. Ugh.

    I did note the motto: “Zero to tasty in seventy seconds”. So she was a zero when it looked like she wasn’t going to put out, but as soon as she’s sexually available, she’s tasty?

    It couldn’t be that she was tasty all along, and he’s the one who’s not all that. Oh, goodness no.

  2. thisisendless says

    I am in the States, but I did see that ad on another website, and they too, were appalled at the blatent comparison of women to a piece of meat.

    For us here in the states, one of the biggest offenders as far as I am concerned are for the beer TV ads. Not just blatent “women being shown half naked” thing, but it seemed the butt of EVERY “joke” in every ad is some poor woman. For instance, one is at this couple’s wedding and there is an ice sculpture of the married couple. Well the “guys” realize that there portable beer cooler has no ice , so they saw the head off of the WIFE in the sculpture and throw it in the cooler to cool the beer. Then they all toast and someone screams in the background because of the missing head. Why not both their heads? Why just the wife’s head?

    There are other ones and I realized as I was writing them out that it would probably be boring for you to read, especially if you have not seen them. But there are PLENTY that are like that. Where the distain for for women is just BLATENTLY obvious.

    And the thing is, it is always the bad beer that has these commercials. The few really good beer brands that advertise, don’t actually have ads like that.

  3. Jennifer Kesler says

    Thisisendless, we’ve noted before that quality and bigotry don’t seem to go hand in hand in business. It started when I talked about Guess? Jeans descent from good quality Made in the US jeans to sweatshop crap with rotted seams, and how that coincided with a descent from racy ads featuring women alone or couples to ads that featured lots of women gathering around some lucky guy like a harem.

    My theory is actually that bad products know they can’t stand up to savvy customers, so they appeal to the lowest common denominator in hopes of attracting people without taste.

  4. scarlett says

    Or, as I always like to go back to, the Target ads (at least here in Oz) which use healthy, happy models, no sexual innuendo, no sexist stereotypes, just damn good QC and value for money.

  5. MaggieCat says

    For the most part I love the Target commercials here. (My personal favorite had ballerinas that looked around 9 or 10 dressed up as mice and dancing around a giant box of Cheeze-its. *hee*) Or the ones for some brand of chocolate, Choxie, I think. All I know is the word ‘moxie’ was used a lot, and I love that word. It had a mostly female cast, but they went for cute and kicky instead of sleazy.

    I definitely think that the companies whose service can stand up to a certain level of scrutiny can afford to use clever marketing. Crappy products seem to try to appeal to people with low self esteem who won’t demand anything better.

  6. SunlessNick says

    I did note the motto: “Zero to tasty in seventy seconds”. So she was a zero when it looked like she wasn’t going to put out, but as soon as she’s sexually available, she’s tasty? - BetaCandy

    Ugh, I missed that line.

    Well the “guys” realize that there portable beer cooler has no ice , so they saw the head off of the WIFE in the sculpture and throw it in the cooler to cool the beer. - thisisendless

    Was she meant to be an “ice queen” of some sort? Both heads would have been better.

  7. Jennifer Kesler says

    There’s a myth in the US which states that women don’t like beer and wish men wouldn’t drink it. Personally, I believe this myth exists so that merely drinking a beer can make an immature adult male feel like he’s defying a woman, which I presume he considers quite manly.

  8. scarlett says

    There’s a myth in the US which states that women don’t like beer and wish men wouldn’t drink it.

    Funnily enough, the last time I was out in a group, at least half the women were drinking beer, and several of the guys were drinking wine or spirits :p

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