Kraft’s Philadelphia Cream Cheese has won itself a special place on my shit list for a commercial I saw recently. The end of the commercial featured two female angels. One commented that some third female angel looked great lately. The other explained that the angel in question had had a “wing tuck”, which “sucks it all in” (pulling in her abdomen to demonstrate). Then she commented brightly , “Not a bad idea” as she scarfed down another wad of fat-laden cream cheese.
I’m not sure where to start here, but I’ll make my first charge: presenting two perfectly slim and healthy-looking women considering plastic surgery. Second charge: presenting unecessary cosmetic surgery as “not a bad idea” for women. Third: presenting unecessary cosmetic surgery as a viable alternative to, you know, eating healthy foods instead of Kraft’s unhealthy, processed shit which is right up there with McDonald’s in terms of quality. Third charge: Fourth charge: effective calling their customer base fat cows. At least that’s how I took it.
But let’s let Kraft speak for themselves [page since removed]:
Philadelphia has been a regular on TV screens in the UK since 1963, when the first ads appeared featuring Dora Bryan – a popular actress of the time and one of stars of the ‘Carry On’ films.
This was followed by the ‘Two Secretaries’ campaign, which ran from 1987 through to 1999, and proved to be one of the most memorable and well-loved TV campaigns of its time, with the scripts constantly changing to follow the fortunes of the dizzy pair.
Philadelphia went to heaven in 1999 with a new series of ads depicting the light and heavenly taste of the product. These ads featured Caroline Quentin who had starred in the hugely successful sit-com, “˜Men Behaving Badly’, and a new advertising slogan and trade mark were introduced -“˜A little taste of Heaven’.
More recently, the heaven theme has continued to evolve. Two sassy and street-wise angels – Danni and Bev – were introduced in 2002 to reflect the modern young women of the 21st century.
2005 sees the campaign moving into new territory with new angels and a host of heavenly new serving suggestions. These ads highlight how easy it is to cook with Philly and feature recipes that are guaranteed to make your mouth water!
With the launch of new Philadelphia Splendips comes a new TV advert, which features two of our Philly angels driving along a heavenly highway. The advert highlights the innocently virtuous nature of this tasty new all-in-one Splendips dipping snack which achieves the perfect balance; tasty and satisfying with less than 200 calories and 7g fat.
I already don’t eat any Kraft “food” products because they’re not food. They are cheap filler ingredients augmented with minimal quality (and quality) of actual food product. They and other companies like them are part of why Americans are experiencing record levels of diabetes and obesity. Even when they remove some calories and fat (which are replaced by crap like sugar and other fillers), there is no nutritional value there whatsoever. There are plenty of higher quality alternatives available.
And now Kraft has the nerve to suggest that cosmetic surgery provides a way for you to eat their post-industrial waste and still appear healthy, no matter what’s rotting away under your surface.