Links of Great Interest 1/22/10

From Haiti:

can’t get through much now but beyond the horror, one very striking reality is that things are totally peaceful. we circulated in PAP in the middle of everything until just now. everywhere. no UN. no police. no US marines and no violence or chaos or anything. just people helping each other. drove past the main central park in PAP where at least 50K people must be sleeping and it was almost silent.

“When I watch the Emmys and a show wins a writing award and a bunch of white men get up there to accept the award – I am embarrassed for them. It tells me immediately that their show is very narrow-minded, and honestly — run by some very insecure white guy.” Heh. WELCOME TO MY LIFE. DiscipulaDC has some thoughts on whiteness.

This right here? This is an example of why safe-words and conversations about boundaries are incredibly important… and not just something “Third Wave feminists” get off on. EITHER Jacob and Anouk needed to initiate that conversation — and he shouldn’t have blamed her for THEIR mutual decision to miscommunicate. What gets my goat about the situation is that society tells women that being edgy and cool and not like those bitchy feminists led to her thinking there’s something prudish or wrong about advocating for your emotional/physical/mental well-being when trying to get your freak on. WTF is that “good sport” rhetoric still doing here? That shit is POISONOUS. And WTF is up with those commentators saying she WASN’T raped? Sex without consent = rape, regardless of the poor communication habits of the people involved. Anyways, this article on poly-processing is a good read on why communication’s important in ANY kind of relationship. Gah. I hate it when people act like TRUE LOVE happens on accident.

More on women’s bodies in the military.

Sexism is an STD.

Hmmm. RaceFAIL ’09 did lead to some good conversations… I’m glad stuff like book cover race changes are getting a spotlight shown on them. But hey, I really can’t be bothered to read that, since I’ve got to go be mean to some innocent dude whose inalienable right to unlimited access to my vayjayjay I persist in refusing.

Also, I’m a liberal in the academy because I really, really like reading. That’s it! I’d be a liberal if I liked kids more than reading, I’d be a liberal if I was a housewife, and I’ll be a liberal when I’m retired. My political beliefs existed before my professional aspirations. I think it’s because my parents raised me to love and to cherish my bleeding heart. I mean, it’s not like this ish is fun, profitable, or conducive to my mental health.

The Center for the Pacific Asian Family needs your help!!

Ask me about my IUD!

“This isn’t racism, per se: it’s colorism, an unconscious prejudice that isn’t focused on a single group like blacks so much as on blackness itself. Our brains, shaped by culture and history, create intricate caste hierarchies that privilege those who are physically and culturally whiter and punish those who are darker.”

Heh. Sex workers are sex offenders… not their johns.

Heh. We’re officially living in the time of the Crusades.

Comments

  1. The Other Patrick says

    The thing about the rape fantasy is very sad. You can do stuff like this, but only with good communication – you don’t initiate edge play like that until you’re either very clear that it’s going to happen* or having a clear cut way out, or both.

    *and I don’t mean “sometime”, or “next friday”, but “let’s do this right now, are you up for it?”


    I don’t get the facebook link in the RaceFail column.

    The thing in New Orleans is just despicable. Sex offender lists do many things wrong, but that is really… argh. And if oral and anal sex are uncommon sex acts – really? –, then I’d probably be hanged if I visited NO. Oh, wait, no, I’m a white guy, my girlfriend might get hanged, and I a warning not to do it again. Sorry. Like women soldiers who get pregnant, silly of them to want to have sex, but men, on the other hand…

  2. SunlessNick says

    EITHER Jacob and Anouk needed to initiate that conversation

    Way too many commenters there seemed to think that Jacob being “naive” somehow means he’s absolved of any responsibility to even imagine that that conversation might be a good idea. And yet they also claim that Anouk being naive about this kind of roleplay increases her culpability. Funny how that goes.

    And I’m agreed with you on the poison inherent in the idea that it’s somehow “uncool” for women to protect themselves. Especially when coupled with the idea that it’s totes their fault if they don’t and someone rapes them. (Again I’m reminded of my suspicion that the unspoken purpose of most rape prevention advice is to provide excuses for why this rape – and every rape is “this rape” – isn’t really a rape).

    The thing in New Orleans is just despicable.

    I can’t really add anything to that, but I can agree.

    I don’t get the facebook link in the RaceFail column.

    “I’m a nice guy, why won’t those bitches choose me?” is probably the sentiment that it’s referring to. Though I couldn’t immediately tell if the Facebook thing was expressing or deriding it (and didn’t want to linger in Facebook long enough to work it out :)).

  3. Anemone says

    If Haiti is so quiet, and I think this is pretty normal for disasters, why is so much military strength being sent over? Is reality interfering with people’s post-apocalyptic fantasies?

    On the subject of whiteness in TV, I came across this blog article on Canadian TV this week. A funny rant.

  4. says

    I couldn’t make it through all of the comments on the rape/fantasy article, but I think that the commenters failed to mention the most obvious point of all: If a woman states that she has fantasied about sex in general and has discussed that fact with someone, that does not mean that she is giving blanket consent to any sex act at any time and to force her is rape. If “I think that I would like to have sex sometime” does not mean “please have sex with me here and now” why should the particular nature of the fantasy change that?

  5. Charles RB says

    “If Haiti is so quiet, and I think this is pretty normal for disasters, why is so much military strength being sent over?”

    If you want to transport lots of people and supplies to & across a disaster zone near the US, the US military is a fast way to do it. They’re also managing the Port-au-Prince airport and have been asked to provide extra troops for the UN peacekeeping forces, who are pretty much it for security at the moment (the Haitian police are still regrouping).

    It’s not unusual for militaries to go in to disaster areas.

  6. Charles RB says

    also re Haiti, outlying towns are up Shit Creek since relief hasn’t got their yet. In the town of Jacmel, the UN is able to get food in but the only outside help besides that is a small team of Canadian medics: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8476185.stm

    In a lot of the capital, it’s still just locals helping each other out – including setting up their own makeshift refugee camps. (The aid teams are worried that there might be violence as people stampede for aid – this was an initial concern about air drops – if the city isn’t secured first, though this appears to be an overestimated concern) http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8473722.stm

  7. says

    I was very disappointed in many of the comments in the rape fantasy article. The author took full responsibility for her failure to communicate things more concretely. But that’s where her responsibility ends.

    If speaking your fantasies out loud entitles people to enact them AT you, then everyone who’s ever admitted “Yes, sometimes when I’m depressed I fantasize about dying” is in grave danger.

    People need to grow up or shut up.

  8. says

    If speaking your fantasies out loud entitles people to enact them AT you, then everyone who’s ever admitted “Yes, sometimes when I’m depressed I fantasize about dying” is in grave danger.

    Holy shit, THIS.

    I am astounded by anyone thinking the boyfriend was anything but a complete asshole. Anyone who listens to someone say “I have a fantasy about X” and hears “this is a blank check to do X whenever without talking to me about it first” has serious issues about dealing with people.

    So does ‘unnatural copulation’ apply to EVERYONE, or just prostitutes?

    I believe it is a matter of selective enforcement, like most blue laws. It’s being used as a weapon against sex workers, and I don’t believe it’s being applied across-the-board (especially since, in most cases, they have no way of knowing who’s having unnatural copulation).

  9. SunlessNick says

    If speaking your fantasies out loud entitles people to enact them AT you, then everyone who’s ever admitted “Yes, sometimes when I’m depressed I fantasize about dying” is in grave danger.

    People need to grow up or shut up.

    Have you added this to the thread? Because it’s a spectacularly good point. And a good accompaniment to another comment about whether these people would excuse it if the boyfriend went out and murdered someone or robbed a bank because his girlfriend fantasised about being with a murderer or robber.

    I believe it is a matter of selective enforcement, like most blue laws. It’s being used as a weapon against sex workers

    That would be my suspicion as well.

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