Links of Great Interest: “You know what my kids don’t like? Being black in 1964.”

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YOU can help the Split this Rock Poetry Festival make its summer fundraising goal!

<3 <3 <3 SO SAY WE ALL. <3 <3 <3

How gender violence on the left takes down radical movements.

Shirley Sherrod — the family farmer’s friend.

Raeka wants to know what people’s thoughts are on… NO SEX PLEASE, we’re middle class.

From CrescentLightning:

Ashley Eckstein, who voices Ahsoka on Star Wars: The Clone Wars has started a new clothing line. It’s called Her Universe. It’s goal is to create sci-fi merchandise for girls. There’s not much on the site now (it’s all Star Wars right now). But there should hopefully be more soon.

French Vogue highlights Givenchy’s newest model — Lea T., a beautiful transwoman.

The Young and the Restless is bringing on a plus-sized, DARK-SKINNED black female lead. <3 Honestly, I wish my grandmother was around to see this — she loved that soap.

Hey! Shakin’ that thing is implied consent for having your top pulled down and your picture taken! The BurningMan blog has a post up on photography without consent. ASK FIRST.

An open letter to the Drapers from their black maid.

More on how Janelle Monae is awesome.

Just…. WTF, Australia?

OH HAI Muslim shouldn’t be a protected category.

How does the media apologize when they’ve accused a child of murder?

Gasp! A corrupt military contractor!

Karnythia has a great post on being a considerate parent.

Comments

  1. I. Scott says

    On “NO SEX PLEASE, we’re middle class”, I’m white middle class male (not in the US, rather the UK), and I’m not sexually active at all (that’s not to say I’m never aroused, but I don’t really care to do anything about it for the most part – heck, I’m still in my 20s, and as the article states, I have no real societal pressure to reproduce until much later in my life, particularly as a man, which I like, thanks very much).
    It feels to me that the author is against the idea of a “female viagra” (which with the article would seem to imply a spiritual approach to sex, which I completely lack), and there is a sense of that weird ‘the white middle class is dying out’ thought that occasionally permeates the news. In fact there’s a whole overtone of missing those halcyon days of the first half of the 20th century, now that I think about it.
    There’s also a sense of disliking the move towards workplace equality in the fairly intellectual fields usually worked by the middle class as well, which makes me uncomfortable with the article as a whole.

    Perhaps the author is right about the middle-class being much like cogs in the machines they often design, and perhaps not being at all beholden to the weird hormonal surges of various glands (also- this sort of knowledge is a result of the privilege of having been able to read at a very high level since before I was 12. It doesn’t seem to be taken into account in the article) makes me feel like I have more control over my own life.

    Not sure if this makes much sense (I took maths at University, not writing), but these are my immediate thoughts.

  2. Anemone says

    On NO SEX PLEASE
    First reaction: Aaak! I just read something by Camille Paglia.
    Second reaction: Aaak! I was actually agreeing with bits of it.

    Though to be perfectly honest, the article didn’t really do anything for me one way or the other, except that if she was saying that the way we live kills sexual desire, I have no problem with that. There are other things we need to be doing with our time, too. I found myself wondering how much it was a gap between the expectations Hollywood gives us and the practicalities of life. Do people think they should be having more sex because their bodies tell them so, or because the media tells them so?

    • Elee says

      Even though I was irked from the first lines with her attitude of “let me tell you what the real problem is, because you are too stupid to think for yourself”, I had to agree to a point, that societal expectations of what female libido should be like and societal structures in general are probably a bigger problem. But to deny the (probable) minority of women the medical means to regain their sex drive… What? On the other hand Ã� see “female Viagra” as not unproblematic, because I fear that it will be seen as an easy way out (you don’t want to have sex with me? = clearly, there must be something physically wrong with you = take a pill and there is no reason for you to say no = if there is no physical reason, then there must be something wrong with you psychically.) There are more reasons then just physical why a woman wouldn’t to have sex, but the pill will be instrumentalised to pressure women into sex.

  3. Robin says

    My biggest problem with “No Sex Please” is that Paglia ascribes a single idea of sexuality / sensuality to all white middle-class Americans, and has deemed it lacking in comparison to the norms of yesteryear. It is certainly a different kind of sexuality than was engaged in by my parents’ and grandparents’ generations, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. Personally, I’m glad to be a 30-year-old woman with a full-time job, aspirations of grad school, and the option of seeing whoever I like. I like being able to wear what I want rather than being limited to just skirts and dresses. I like that the modern idea of sexuality and sensuality now includes more than just one or two ideals but instead includes body and personality types that appeal to a wide variety of people. Yes, Camille, some people like athletic physiques, and some like the zaftig, and yet others like other things. I don’t think a woman in jeans and a t-shirt is automatically less sexy than one in a dress. Every situation, every person’s turn-ons are different.

    The Girls Gone Wild case is just… disgusting. Classic victim blaming, and a disgraceful decision by the jury. It’s not technically rape, but that was most definitely sexual assault. Shame on you, St. Louis.

    I agree that Karnythia makes some good points about considerate parenting (which the Feministe poster, Maia, is clearly not interested in practicing), but I think she’s mistaken in interpreting Maia’s story to mean that she actually had her toddler in a bar. Which is not to say that parents don’t take their kids to bars — they do — but in this instance it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. Maia’s gripe seems to be with her friends, and western society at large, treating children as children rather than tiny adults. Or, heaven forfend, trying to put the child’s needs before the parent’s whims. When Maia’s friend asked about her daughter, I saw that as a simple inquiry of whether Maia was free to hang out or whether she needed to be home with her kid. Maia, on the other hand, seems to have taken that as an implication that her daughter wasn’t welcome at the friend’s party and conflated it with what she sees as a society (in which she no longer lives, by the way) that is “hostile” to children. There’s a big difference between a society that is unwelcoming to children, and specific spaces that are inapproprate for children to be in.

    • says

      Hmm, I read Maia’s post the same way Karnythia did. I mean, no, it never says she has taken her kid to bars, but why pick bars as an example? So I assumed at the very least she *wants* to take her kid to bars and has never thought about whether that’s good for the child. Movie theaters would’ve been a much better example.

      • Robin says

        Well, that’s the thing. Maia doesn’t use bars as an example of places where kids should be welcome. (At least, not in the initial post. I haven’t read very far into the comments. Feel free to correct me if she does so further down the thread.) She only mentions that she was asked if her daughter was with her while talking on her phone in a bar. Which could have easily sounded like a movie theater lobby or somewhere else innocuous to the friend on the other end of the call.

        • Elee says

          “recently, i was hanging out at a bar, when a friend called and invited me to come hang out for a few drinks and chill time as the sun came up. cool. then, i heard a bit of whispers in the background and the question posed to me: is aza with you?” This is a direct quote from Maia’s post. While it isn’t clear if she was hanging out in a bar with her daughter or alone (I assumed the former, but on rereading it might be either.) But when a friend asks her out for drinks and to be up all night, be it in a bar or at home or at a party, she wants to be at least able to bring her daughter. It doesn’t matter much if she would have done it or not, if her objection was more of general “why are you even asking me this question, I have a right to bring my daughter wherever I want” or pertaining this specific friend and situation, because to me it shows poor judgement of what is good for her daughter. Why would it be a good idea to bring a three-year old anywhere with drunk adults and let her be up all night? I am not even questioning her right to bring a child along (although there are a lot of valid points in the comments), but I am questioning her parenting skills.

          • says

            What Elee said re: that quote and why I interpreted it that way, and that yes, in hindsight it could go either way. Additionally, the story told in the quote suggests the following:

            –Maia’s friend wonders if Maia has her child at a bar.
            –Maia feels the friend is judging her for taking the child to a bar because kids annoy adults.
            –Maia seems oblivious to the probability that if the friend is judging her at all, it’s for exposing the child to the atmosphere of the bar.
            –Maia thinks any attempt to tell her how to parent is based on that individual’s annoyance with her child’s presence, not that individual trying to make sure the child is raised happy and healthy.
            –Maia is wrong about this specific point.

            That’s how I read the post.

          • Robin says

            I’m certainly not suggesting that she should be up for Mother of the Year. Only that a lot of the comments at the other sites are jumping on her for doing something that it’s not clear if she actually did.

            I just feel that the discussion across the blogs has been derailed from Maia’s actual topic by her unclear writing style. She could have easily curtailed any of this debate with one sentence. “Of course I wouldn’t have my 3-year-old in a bar late at night.” What she needs most is a skilled editor. (Well, and a babysitter, probably.)

        • says

          Replying here because the nesting had to end somewhere:

          Fair enough. I agree that it’s a pity her topic got derailed by a lack of clarity, because it’s an important topic.

          • GardenGoblin says

            And an annoying topic. Multiple times I have been in a situation where I expect to have a decent, adult time. Thus I put forth the expense to get a sitter for my son. And instead of having a chance to relax and cut lose with my adult friends, I instead have to watch my language, topic choice, etc… because some entitled ‘parent’ brought their kid.

            I remember sitting in a bar with a classmate after class and ranting a bit out how our teammate hadn’t done his section of the assignment. I referred to him as an asshole. Five seconds later I am getting tapped on the shoulder and told to watch my language because there was a child present.

            In a bar.

            At 11pm.

            Being the polite young lady I am, I did not use a single other curse word. I did however, switch the subject matter to lubricants, flavored condoms, and speculation as to whether or not the aforementioned deadbeat teammate engaged in necrophilia, but I did not use any other curse words.

  4. says

    The GGW case – in addition to classic slut shaming and whatever you call the “Well, you can’t expect people to behave responsibly when you leave the kitchen, ladies” attitude, it raises a problem we’re seeing more and more in photography cases. I agree with Robin that it MUST be considered a form of assault to be photographed in a sexual context without your consent. But unfortunately, the direction photos-without-consent cases are taking is, “Hey, you shouldn’t have come out of your mom’s womb if you didn’t want us taking pictures of your bits.” Which is like… I mean, you could go around *murdering* people if we took the attitude that you were taunted into it by their very existence.

    I cannot BELIEVE law enforcement released the story that a 14 year old murdered his entire family before they’d even gone through all the forensics (talking about the “how does the media apologize” link). Yes, the press was irresponsible and unapologetic, but did law enforcement just assume that because everyone in the immediate family was dead, there was no one to sue them, so they might as well have some fun running with tall tales first? What about extended family?

  5. Elee says

    It is totally not on the topic, but I just wanted to cheer – Prop (h)8 overturned!! After Argentina setting an example for South America, it is really good news. Now, if only my country would get its head out of its ass…

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