Links of Great Interest: My girl likes to LoGI all the time, LoGI all the time…

Signal Boost: ANYONE IN NY NEED A NEW PET? A fire at an animal shelter leaves 150 animals homeless.

Signal Boost: Blogger in need of assistance in leaving toxic living situation.

Signal Boost: Crowd funding an album

From Kat: The anthology you’ve been waiting for.

From Spartokos:

Here is some mixed news about homophobes angry about JC Penney.
At least JCP isn’t kowtowing to these bigots.

But then you have this
…which just makes me want to throw up. Or hit this guy. Or maybe
hit him and then throw up on him.

From Red:

t’s been 581 years this month since Jeanne d’Arc aka Joan of Arc,
was burned at the stake. A courageous woman who, claiming divine
guidance, led the army of France against the English and paving the
way for France’s freedom from their rule.

Heather Dale sings a beautiful song in honor of her and the person
who made this vid did a fantastic job.

From Casey:

Adam Croote sentenced to 25-to-life for choking and raping a 10 year
old girl he was baby sitting.

An Iowa college student was prohibited from dancing on an elevated
platform at a bar for being “too fat” (they said she looked pregnant
SMDH).

RIP, Brandy Martell.

From The Bitch List:

So, we’re taking the Bechdel Test a bit more up the river and started
“The Bitch List”. We’ve gotten support from The Black List too.

Here’s our link- http://bit.ly/z5cw2G

From Cloudtigress:

Another recent NYT Room for Debate article, this one on whether
‘attachment parenting’ is destroying modern feminism, modern
mothering, or both.

Why men should not be ordained.

Holy shit, I’m bawling. “We might not know you — but we are cheering for you the whole entire way.” <3

Wanted: Fat Girl.

From MC:

I thought you guys might like this video channel from a young woman
who’s talking about all things sex, getting rid of sex myths and so on
in a very open, educated and sometimes also funny way.

A mixed victory for survivors of human trafficking.

Because VAWA helps queer women, it’s clearly part of the homosexual agenda.

Mom invited to be den leader… then not.

From Spartokos:

Caught this story about a woman who (IMO) was much more in right than
George Zimmerman…yet in her case for some reason, “Stand Your
Ground” doesn’t apply, even though she didn’t kill anyone. Could this
have something to do with the fact that she’s black, or that she’s a
woman?

From Maartje:

“Women’s bodies are the world’s battleground.”

The Awá in Brazil are being wiped out. Help by sending a message to
the minister in Brazil.

From CloudTigress:

Two recent Room for Debates roundtable pieces from the New York Times
pages. One is about whether family values are outdated; the other is about whitewashing on the small screen, with a focus on
the new HBO comedy series Girls and its all-white cast set in New York City.

From Casey:

From Womanist Musings, a privilege-denying dude(tm) tries chatting up
a group of Muslimahs, one of whom is obviously pregnant and married,
because entitlement.

Lakota man mutilated

From Amy McCabe:

Does Feminism and the Left need marriage counseling?

From Nuri:

An interesting post about the (lack of) exposure of sexual abusers in
the chassidic community

From draconismoi:

This has been up for awhile, so you may have seen it already. Every
get irritated by awful cover poses? So does this comic artist.

Comments

  1. Amy McCabe says

    I’ve heard of but never understood the debate about feminism and attachment parenting. I am a feminist. I practice attachment parenting. I do so because I found it makes it easier for *me* as a working mother. It is a philosophy of child rearing (among many) but one I’m constantly puzzled to find people alarmed by.

  2. Amy McCabe says

    Re: family values. May I point out that the “traditional” family never existed in history? But you all know that already, don’t you.

    I’ve also found it mystifying that “family values” always focused on something as superficial as family unit composition. Who cares about two heterosexual parents and 2.4 kids? Let’s talk about actual values one would hope a family unit had, like compassion, a sense of justice and fairness, cohesion as a unit of people that love each other. I don’t want to talk about whether or not the parents are both men or that the mother’s missing from the picture or whatever. That’s not values, that’s composition? I mean, it doesn’t mix with the actual words used. If you want to talk “ideal family unit compositions preferred by me” that’s fine! Just call it ideal family unit compositions preferred by me.

  3. says

    Marissa Alexander’s case really infuriates me. Guess she should’ve killed her abusive husband who had a history of violence against women – then he couldn’t have lied to the prosecutor, who was vile enough to believe him and should go to prison to live amongst the domestic abusers she obviously likes better than women.

    Love the article about why men shouldn’t be ordained. I often think we should write more posts like that around here – it’s so easy to swap the stereotypes around and show how full of shit they are.

    Amy McCabe,

    I had never heard of it before this, and have to admit the linked discussion didn’t really clear it up. From the brief description of what it is, it sounds like some pediatrician’s blueprint for how he believes bodies are supposed to function through pregnancy and nursing, which parents can follow if they want. So, if feminism is about choice, and this is a choice, okay. Obviously if anyone was trying to force this parenting model on people, or convince the state that any other form of parenting is “unfit” and may require state intervention, that would be anti-feminist. But is the mere existence of the model anti-feminist in some way?

    Aren’t feminists pushing for the right to nurse in public so that you can follow a more “natural” model without being shackled to your house throughout your child’s infancy? Aren’t feminists all about providing better and more affordable daycare, not just so that women CAN work and be mothers, but because some mothers MUST work because no one else is going to pay their bills?

    And feminism should also support rejecting this model if you think the theories are wrong in general or just wrong for your family. As long as you don’t actually abuse or neglect your child, feminism supports you raising kids and conducting the rest of your life however you see fit.

  4. Amy McCabe says

    *nods* Like most things in life, I have seen attachment parenting being used to empower and repress women.

    The most important tenet of attachment theory is that an infant needs to develop a relationship (“attachment”) with at least one primary caregiver for social and emotional development to occur normally. Dr. Sears, a practicing physician, came up with a guideline (which he stresses isn’t a set of rules as not all things work for all people) on how best to achieve this aim. These guidelines are meant to be a starting point, but most are eventually outgrown.

    I think the debate really comes from two things:

    First, some people believe the guidelines are rules and that if you don’t follow all of them, you aren’t practicing attachment parenting. Some of these guidelines, such as cosleeping and breastfeeding aren’t possible and/or safe for all caregivers (Sears himself says as much). I’ve seen this misinterpreted by some feminist mothers as stating mothers MUST do these things to be good mothers. (And one of the arguments for doing these things is that it actually makes parenting easier, which is what I’ve found…granted my workplace is much more tolerant to breastfeeding than most.)

    Secondly, I’ve seen people arguing for *sigh* “traditional family values” use attachment parenting to argue a woman’s place is to stay at home and raise the kids. This is a misrepresentation of the theory, since it doesn’t at any point indicate their needs to be one care giver.

  5. Amy McCabe says

    I think this opens the larger discussion of feminism and motherhood in general actually. I mean there is a lot of: this kind of thing going on lately.

    The debate goes like this:

    Doctors & Scientists: Breastfeeding is good for babies! All mothers should breastfeed!

    Media & Family Values People: Yes! If you don’t breastfeed you’re a bad mother! You should stay at home and breastfeed your child!

    Some mothers & feminists: What about my choice?!?!

    Formula companies: What about my profits???

    It baffles me because the argument should be:

    Doctors & Scientists: Breastfeeding is good for babies! All mothers should breastfeed!

    Media & General Population: It also reduces the risks for breast cancer in the mother! While it certainly isn’t possible for all mothers, let’s make it as easy as possible for mothers who what to breastfeed and surely more will. Besides, the whole prudishness towards breasts are archaic anyway.

    Mothers: YAY!

    Instead in some states (not mine!) breasting in public can still get your ass thrown in jail…for doing something that we mothers are being pushed to do. *sigh*

  6. Maria says

    Amy McCabe,

    I think part of the bewilderment has to do with straw feminist arguments that act as though being a feminist is the opposite of being a mom, ignoring a long history of women whose feminist, antiracist work is grounded in their commitment to motherhood.

    Also, I noticed that a of the attachment parenting debate seemed to assume that women didn’t HAVE to work.

  7. Amy McCabe says

    Two of the great changes that I’ve experienced in my thinking since becoming a parent was (1) parenting is work. Hard work. The hardest work you’re likely to do. That’s why I’ve come to avoid the term “working mother” like the plague. All mothers are working. And (2) that one of the potential contributions I can make as a feminist, is to raise my son to be a feminist, to be an ally for the great many people that will not be as privileged as my white, middle class, able bodied little boy is bound to be.

    One thing I have noticed about attachment parenting is that some of the more vocal advocates do not have a financial need for a job or career. These are people who’s privilege lends them space and time in their lives to advocate for an idea they find meaningful. It is something I wish we all had, that time. It might also contribute to the conflicts between feminism and attachment parenting.

    Oddly enough, there’s a lot of support for attachment parenting from parents on both the far right (traditional family values!) and the far left. This leads to some interesting conversations about attachment parenting, specifically whenever someone brings up issues regarding sexuality.

  8. says

    Maria: Also, I noticed that a of the attachment parenting debate seemed to assume that women didn’t HAVE to work.

    I was getting that sense from what I read this morning, too. It’s very much framed as a white middle class women’s dilemma, as per usual.

    It’s also worth mentioning that not all mothers CAN breastfeed due to various biological issues. Fortunately, there are a lot of other ways to form a bond.

  9. Amy McCabe says

    Jennifer Kesler: Fortunately, there are a lot of other ways to form a bond.

    Definitely. The reasons aren’t just biological and quite frankly, that’s where feminism can be a great help.

    Beyond biological barriers women (who want to) breastfeed find themselves switching to formula because:

    -6 weeks is too little time to establish your milk supply. While some women can do it, most need to have more contact with their infant than 6 weeks. The breast pump doesn’t do it. Paying mothers during their federally allowed 12 weeks will allow mothers (among other things) proper time to establish a milk supply.

    -Better trained physicians and lactation consultants. The medical community is largely under-trained. Worse, many hospital lactation consultants are trained by formula companies who have a vested interest in women not nursing. Feminists could demand better, more educated quality care.

    -In some states you can still get thrown in jail for breastfeeding. If your breastfeeding it isn’t just a matter of a hungry baby for which you can supplement with pumped milk or formula. If you don’t pump or nurse regularly things get HIGHLY uncomfortable and you can get blocked ducts or an infection.

    -In some states, women have no right or protection to pump at work (also needed if you want to continue nursing).

    The frustrating part is that when the issue of breastfeeding comes up, it is usually shame the mom who isn’t breastfeeding. Often times they’re fighting an uphill battle! I know the fact that I live in a state that protects nursing mothers more than most helped me greatly.

  10. says

    I find the debate on attachment parenting interesting because I remember a woman a few years ago telling me about how she and her husband were following these guidelines (as was a famous actor and his wife she talked about) and one was to always carry the child rather than use a stroller. And I know that my stay at home mother tried to breastfeed me but I stopped feeding after a few months (probably because she got pregnant again) but also she felt unloved because I didn’t want to cuddle (at least not with her). I would have preferred the stroller. I just didn’t like her vibes, if that makes sense. For me, attachment (secure attachment for every child!) is about meeting the baby’s needs, which usually also works best for the parents, but not always. And yes, society needs to step up and make it easier, not harder. Duh.

    The article on the divorce between feminism and the left was bizarre. Lots and lots on where feminism went wrong, hardly anything about where the left went wrong, and no mention whatsoever of how the left told women that the only position for them in the left was prone. Which is why so many leftist women flocked to feminism. (Something I learned in school, but I don’t remember the juicy details. Googles . . . Ah, it was civil rights activist Stokeley Carmichael in 1964.)

    Amy: Amen to family values versus composition.

  11. says

    That article about the Berean Baptist preacher happened in my city. I got the feeling the preacher had no idea what real life gay people are like. He seriously advised parents to break their gay sons wrists when they do that stereotypical downward wrist motion associated with gay people and rich women. Knowing how these situations go, we’re gonna be hearing about him having sex with a gay male prostitute by next year.

  12. Red says

    The situation with Marrissa Alexander is SICKENING. She BETTER get released. I just hope her children are in a safe environment. She acted in the way she believed was right. She wasn’t looking to kill him, though she would have been in her right. The guy is scum.

    And the judge? MORON. I’d like to see how SHE would have reacted to that situation. It’s so easy to say ‘you should’ve/could’ve done this’ when it’s NOT YOU in the situation of fleeing in terror. Hopefully, this will get overturned.

    On a somewhat lighter note; I’d been wanting to send the link to the Joan of Ark vid for awhile and this is the month to remember her. Liked this comment on the vid.

    this song gives me courage, and I really can feel god when I listen to it. It shows me that God is not as sexist as many people claim, and that he often picks the underdog to carry out the most dangerous quests :)

    Someone should take the time to remind the Vatican of this little fact in that they don’t support women priests or leading congregants; Joan claimed divine guidance and all documentation at the time certainly seems to support that. Which means that the Creator clearly had NO ISSUE with her gender.

    If a woman proved to be good enough to take up arms and lead the armies of her country to future victory against outside aggressors under the supported claim of being sent by God and later be named a saint for her brave acts, then there should be NO ISSUE with women PREACHING the word of God.

  13. says

    Red,

    The thing about Joan of Arc, which actually differentiates her from a lot of saints/religious figures, is that she turned the tide of a war, and it would have been a fucking amazing thing for a privileged man to pull off, but she was a peasant girl. I was taught in school not to take her so seriously because she was delusional, but I never understood why that mattered – if anything, accomplishing all she did despite mental illness made her even more amazing.

    But she probably wasn’t delusional at all, because people have had centuries to come up with a disease/disorder that would cause her delusions without also causing other obvious symptoms she didn’t have, and they can’t do it. Creative and spiritual people often attribute inspirations and epiphanies to gods, muses, etc., because no one really fully understands where they come from (probably the unconscious mind, okay, but what does that really mean? What is it within us that’s capable of so much more than our consciousnesses seem to be?). That’s probably more what was going on with her.

  14. Red says

    Jennifer Kesler,

    Hmmmm, true.

    IF she did have some form of mental illness and was able to do what she did in spite of it all, I agree, it’s downright awesome. But I’d like to think she was acting out of divine revelation, for the most part. She clearly was deeply spiritual, from all I’ve read. I can’t imagine anyone who is educated on her life and history calling her ‘delusional’ in ANY way.

    Amazing how, all too often, when men in history have done similar, they are hailed and trumpeted as heroes and ‘acting on God’s behalf’ without question, but little ol’ Joanie comes along and is deemed a basket case by people… :shakes head:

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