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Lesbians always look like porn stars. Most of the time, they are excited at the idea of having threesomes with the male lead. This is good, because we all know no woman can live without The Almighty Dick.

There were about 110 movies with a male lead and 5 with a female lead. Of the second-billed females, nearly all are written as love interests of the first-billed man. There were over sixty movies in the sample with two male stars top-billed.

“…based on my viewing of the movie The Spiderwick Chronicles…”