Love and the City

I finished the first season of Sex and the City at a friend’s house tonight and came home with one thought – What’s up with the love thing?

Now, granted, this show is mainly about sex instead of love, but in every situation the “˜L’ word came up, it was always the woman who was obsessed with it.    

My problem?   I so don’t buy it.

Every woman I’ve had a meaningful conversation with (and even some shallow ones), outside of high school, there has only been one time I can recall where one told me they were in love first.   Every man I’ve had a meaningful conversation with (or heard about) has always had “˜feelings’ first.  

No, seriously.  

And yet, here’s Carrie Bradshaw, our main POV girl, who’s in love and can’t seem to get her man to be in that same place.  He’s the man that just screams “˜stereotype’.   He’s the “˜Big’ man that’s apathetic, somewhat monogamous, but mostly just”¦ not emotionally available.  Sound familiar?   Yeah, me too.   He’s called the TV media man.   All the girls want him to love her, but he’s not ready.  When will he be?   He doesn’t know, he doesn’t care, but damnit, the girls want his love now.

Maybe these men only exist in bigger cities, like New York.  They certainly don’t live near me.   The only ones I seem to come across (or hear about) are the guys that need you, love you, and “˜yes, I realize it’s only been a month, but”¦’  (Okay, that last part might have been slightly sarcastic”¦ maybe.)


  1. scarlett says

    There were a lot of things about SitC I had a problem with, namely the way, for all their going on about being independant women with good friends who didn’t need men for the sake of having them, they all neded up with men… and the way they resolved the Carrie/Big storyline made me want to letter-bomb all responsible.

    But I liked the way they were so open in their talk about sex, nothing was taboo and they certainly weren’t going to be prudes and shrinking violets ‘coz they were women and should be demure about sex. I think it made the talk about sex between women more open.

  2. Ifritah says

    Wow, sorry, I didn’t get an email that said someone commented!

    I completely agree with you on all points. In fact, amusingly enough, the friend I watch this show with has started a tally of how many guys each character has had sex with. It’s… rather horrifying so far. (And we’ve only seen up to the first episode of second season.)

    But yes, I completely agree with you on the sex not a taboo front. I think that’s very nifty how woman are being depicted as talking about it as a natural and normal part of their lives.


  1. […] time a year ago, Ifritah was pointing out how Sex and the City’s just more of the same “love me, love me!” crap: Every woman I’ve had a meaningful conversation with (and even some shallow ones), outside of high […]

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