A reader at What Privilege emailed, suggesting we dismantle the notion that conventionally beautiful women are privileged over other women. I’m all for this, but I was never considered conventionally beautiful (henceforth shortened to merely “beautiful”), so I could use some input from those who are, or who have talked at length to beautiful women.
I’ll start with this. I do agree with the poster that being “beautiful” isn’t really a privilege. Whatever perks there may be to being a beautiful woman, they are all to do with using her as a sex object. I.E., perhaps no one but a beautiful woman has a chance of marrying a superficial rich guy, but that’s hardly my idea of a privilege. There have been dubious studies indicating the conventionally attractive people get more promotions and raises at work, but if that’s true, it’s somehow failed to shatter the glass ceiling.
The reader also talked about how men avoid asking out beautiful women, on the assumption that they already have dates. I can confirm this. L.A. is flooded with conventionally beautiful struggling actresses, and I’ve been friends with them and witnessed this for myself. It may also be that guys lack the self-confidence to ask out beautiful women.
And then people treat beautiful women with incredible resentment. Not just those envious women who have bought into the idea that if only they were beautiful all would be well, but also those men who can’t attract beautiful women but have been taught by their culture that they deserve one (as a trophy, of course – these guys never seem to have noticed anything beyond the packaging of these mean women who won’t date them).
Obviously, women who aren’t conventionally beautiful get locked out of certain arenas: acting opportunities are severely limited, modeling isn’t even a possibility, etc. There’s definitely a prejudice against women who don’t conform to beauty standards. But I don’t think that translates to “privilege” for the ones who do. Just a few perks.
What do you think about the idea of beauty privilege?
{ 53 comments… read them below or add one }
Next Comments →
I, of course, have no scientific data for this, but I swear I’ve seen articles about how your looks do have an impact on things like, oh, employment. I had a boss tell me once he put the pretty women on the afternoon shift because that’s when foot traffic was highest; I was on the morning shift.
But again, not sure if that’s privilege and,as I myself am on the cusp between average and cute (self-touted, natch), I have no firsthand experience at being beautiful.
sbg(Quote) (Reply)
I suppose there’s a small margin where “beauty” can actually be an advantage in everyday life – you’d need to be beautiful but not too beautiful, if that makes sense. I remember reading about a study that said nice looking people are treated better than ugly people cause they are assumed to have more positive character traits than ugly people. Lookism in a nutshell. I’m not really sure if this would be a privilege either cause these assumptions are tied to a tight net of social expectations – for the most part on how well the person is performing their gender role. Being too ugly is a problem for both genders – though more for women than for men. Being too beautiful may become a problem for men cause beauty is attributed to women and thus it’s a bad thing for a man. Too beautiful definitely becomes a problem for women too because of negative stereotypes about beautiful women (bitchy, shallow, stupid, stuff like that).
So I’m not sure if this would be a privilege on it’s own or just a side-effect of benevolent sexism.
Sabrina(Quote) (Reply)
Of course women who can/do perform the beauty norms are granted privileges for that. Any “plain” woman who has watched other women of equal or lesser skill/talent/personability be treated as if they are significantly more valuable and important, simply because those women fulfill the beauty norm, can vouch for that. The fact that those privileges hinge on the “pretty” women’s simultaneous degradation/objectification doesn’t negate them. These women are often treated better than other women, AND they are treated to new and exciting ways to be treated like crap, all at the same time. That’s oppression for you. The fact is that Patriarchy is a losing game, and it has lots and lots of creative ways for women to lose; one of most insidious ways to lose is to be conned into feeling like you’re winning, while you’re actually still losing.
Laughingrat(Quote) (Reply)
In what way do you see them being treated as more valuable or important? Because that’s not how I would describe the ways I see them being treated differently.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
I think it’s harder to make real friends when you are beautiful because other women resent you and men generally want to possess you. It’s also harder to be taken seriously as smart and professional, and what counts as “professional” dress is more stringent, because god forbid someone think you’re sexy and that sexy –> unprofessional.
Also, if you’re sexually harassed I think you’re less likely to be taken seriously.
Maria(Quote) (Reply)
I think that our modern idea of conventional beauty is a combination of whiteness, thinness, cisgendered-ness, and able-bodied-ness. So I think we already do have a kind of “beauty privilege” in operation, since anyone who has all of these privileges is automatically considered more attractive than anyone who has only a few or none of them, aside from all of the other beneifts these privileges bring. I don’t think that’s the same as conventional beauty being privileged outright, so I do agree with your point.
To answer your question: The only place I see beautiful women being really privileged are in terms of the kinds of careers they have access to (modeling, acting, high-end sex work, etc) which usually pay a lot of money. I differ from conventionally beautiful women in that I am a size 10, but sometimes men overlook this and do treat me like I’m conventionally beautiful (the reason I know this is because they always tell me they’re talking to me because of how I look). When that happens, nothing I say is taken seriously, I’m assumed to be unintelligent, and I usually end up fearing for my safety (I think this is because the kind of men who give beautiful women preferential treatment also tend to be very entitled, and it definitely shows). I much prefer being treated like an “ugly” girl (I don’t personally believe I’m ugly or conventionally beautiful).
Suicidewinder(Quote) (Reply)
Suicidewinder,
You forgot ageist and classist as part of the categories related to beauty.
I think that for me is why I wouldn’t use the word “privilege” because to me if something is conditional and dependent on your acquiescence (you lose beauty points if you’re not demure, after all, or if you smile too big or frown a lot or have feelings or get pregnant or don’t wear make up or whatever) then it’s not a privilege.
Maria(Quote) (Reply)
You’re right, I did forget those. Thank you for pointing it out. You also make a good point, which I agree with.
Suicidewinder(Quote) (Reply)
Let’s not forget that beauty is seen to correlate with lack of intelligence (i.e. that whole “bimbo” notion), which makes it harder for conventionally attractive women to be taken more seriously in certain areas of employment. Plus, I’ve seen the sort of attention that some of my conventionally desirable female friends attract from creeps and perverts, and that shit does not look like privilege to me. Not at all. The patriarchy is so utterly messed up that in plenty of scenarios being deemed unattractive would probably be an advantage. Basically, it just seems to be a case of “pick your poison”.
Pumpkin(Quote) (Reply)
I’m not sure about this. Sure, conventionally beautiful women who report harassment could get the “but you look all sexy! He couldn’t help himself!” narrative, but I think women who are not conventionally beautiful or don’t conform to gender expectations are going to get a “why would anybody bother to harass you? You should be grateful for any sexual attention you get!” narrative.
In general, it seems like there aren’t any real benefits to beauty or plainness. You’re still going to get crap for the same things, it’s just a different flavor of crap, that’s all.
minuteye(Quote) (Reply)
Maria,
or are loud, or have disagreeable opinions, or wear glasses, or have curly hair, or stand next to someone thinner, or turn a guy down, or aren’t the main character, or get caught in sweat pants, or fail to shave sufficiently, or be ‘controversial’, etc. and so forth.
It’s definitely set up to feel like a privilege, and it seems like one of the first things people who want to point out the advantages of being female (and explain away male privilege) reach for; all you have to do is be beautiful, and you get whatever you want! (so buy this product that makes you beautiful!).
While I don’t find it difficult to think up situations where being the most attractive could be an advantage, it’s not something one could ever be secure in. People who are gorgeous, and celebrated for it aren’t able to relax and be confident in their status.
Beauty can get you favor and attention you might not have otherwise, but it doesn’t bring you status, or get you valued as a person. I don’t think it makes sense to call it a privilege.
Quib(Quote) (Reply)
This thread is fascinating. I’ve been treated in all the ways described, so now I don’t know how to rate my looks, or whether there are other factors at work. Comparing myself to actresses and models, I’d say I’m pretty, but I’ve always been plump, and plump is a big no-no for most men, but some will overlook it. Still, I don’t think anyone could mistake me for conventionally beautiful.
It’s definitely true that beautiful woman have access to some high-paying careers that the rest of us don’t. But I guess the reason I don’t see that as a privilege is that it can work against that same woman if she wants to become an engineer at a tech company. That can be extremely high paying work, without the casting couch, sexual harassment and tabloid frenzy. So, better access to jobs where you are especially treated like a full-size masturbation toy… yeah, I get that it’s more money and more money is something many women need, but it’s still keeping women in their place. It’s just, as laughingrat pointed out, a way to make it look like you can get the perks available to men (great salaries) without breaking out of the patriarchy’s predefined role for you as a lump of sex flesh. But I think most women end up paying very, very heavily for those perks in different ways. I’m sure it works for a few, but based on my discussions with actresses and high-paid sex workers, I sense a lot more frustration coming from them than I’ve had with lesser-paying jobs where I’m valued for what I do more than for how I look.
The real “privilege” will come when most men feel it’s socially unacceptable to let their hormones play a role in arenas (like work) other than dating/sex/marriage.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
“There have been dubious studies indicating the conventionally attractive people get more promotions and raises at work, but if that’s true, it’s somehow failed to shatter the glass ceiling.”
I haven’t read those studies in detail but I would expect sex would be an independent factor, so it would be attractive men being promoted over other men and attractive women being promoted over other women, so even though women are considered more attractive than men it wouldn’t help with the glass ceiling. I’m job-hunting, and everyone wants an employee to represent their company and make a good impression on clients (understandable) or else an employee that their other employees will enjoy working with (in a field where looks are as irrelevant as possible). Being conventionally attractive would help with all those things. Resumes are always required to have a picture.
The idea that what seems to be conventional attractiveness privilege is just a combination of white, thin, able-bodied, young privilege and beauty standard compliance does make sense to me, although I feel like you could have all those things and still have some factor that stopped you being considered attractive (asymmetrical features maybe). But I have very little real world experience.
meerkat(Quote) (Reply)
meerkat,
The studies are vaguely reported, and I’ve never been able to track down the sources. They never describe how they measure beauty, how they compensate for other factors like social skills, or how they rate beautiful but nerdy people. I mean, in L.A., I’m invisible, but anywhere else I’ve ever spent a day, I’m cute enough to get a reasonable amount of male attention. That’s why I find the studies dubious. I think it’s very likely that, all other things being equal, most employers will pick the cuter/skinnier candidate. But I wonder what happens when the beautiful person is far less qualified. How often do people pick that candidate instead, and how does it correlate with the general rate of picking unqualified employees for various reasons (know them, related to them, owe them a favor, feel sorry for them, etc.)?
To everybody: this link from Maria’s LoGI for the week talks about how supposed female privileges help to mask the fact that the deck is really stacked against us. MOST of these supposed privileges are heaped on women that men find attractive, and that is clearly so that these “privileges” will benefit men. We get free beer on ladies’ night and dates paid for, but those are both about getting men laid, and pressuring women into providing that service. Meanwhile, their privilege is to be presidents and CEOs.
Providing these “privileges” to attractive women serves another purpose: to make women think there is such a thing as privilege for being a woman, and keep us from wanting to overturn the system that might someday “benefit” us.
And let’s face it: how do you become attractive? By enriching men through the purchases of their cosmetics and cosmetic surgeries and so on.
I see beauty “privilege” as a mere smokescreen for all this.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Wow, this topic is really making me think. I’ve always envied beautiful people and wish I was breathtakingly beautiful myself, but it wasn’t because I thought my life would be better if I was more beautiful. For me, I wanted to evoke the same reaction of awe and instant admiration I believe beautiful people get. And not just other people looking at me and going, “wow, you’re stunning”, but also myself when I look into the mirror. I guess I envy those people because my mind thinks they’re getting the awe and admiration that I wish I could have for myself.
But actual privilege? No, I don’t think conventionally beautiful people have any true and consistent privilege.
Lika(Quote) (Reply)
I’ve got the sort of appearance where I can dress down, no makeup, and be sort of pretty but not amazingly so, or dress up and put on makeup and start verging into beautiful, so it’s been interesting analyzing how I’m treated differently at different times. On the high end of dressing sexy and with makeup, I started feeling a lot more objectified–from street harassment to guys just holding doors open for me in a way that really gave off the condescending/objectifying (as opposed to friendly or good-natured) vibe.
Dressed more normally, but while wearing makeup, it feels like I get a lot more people approaching me and being chatty than without makeup, particularly people I don’t know. Since I’m an introvert and would rather be left alone, this has been annoying for me, although I could see where it would translate into beauty privilege in someone more extroverted who wanted the attention in comparison to someone less societally attractive but equally desirous of it.
Normally (since I haven’t been wearing makeup very often lately, which is part of what’s helped me notice the changes in attitude when I have), people mostly leave me alone. I do feel like a lot more people notice me than I notice them (such as random people pointing out that we see each other a lot or have similar schedules, when I never really noticed them around), but I’m also pretty unperceptive, so take that as you will. I’m a college student and haven’t been in any jobs where beauty was a factor, and I don’t think it’s affected my grades.
shuu_iam(Quote) (Reply)
I think it’s fairly comparable to professional athletes, there are highly visible successes that are extremely fortunate, enviable people, so it’s easy to see them as part of a privileged class, but behind those dazzling exceptional stories, there’s a lot of really hard work, and body destroying, life span shortening efforts put towards a very slim chance of making it.
Quib(Quote) (Reply)
shuu_iam,
In regards to how dressing up + makeup affects how people treat you, I have this suspicion that as long as you’re a some base level of ‘pretty’, whether or not you’re treated as pretty depends whether you’re complying to the standard definition of pretty hair/clothes/makeup. I suspect it says to people ‘I buy into the system!’ on a subconcious, if not concious level, and people think you’ll be more demure, accommodating, etc.
I have absolutely no anecdotes to back this up, though.
Raeka(Quote) (Reply)
Raeka,
I’d definitely agree with that. Like people think “you’re putting effort into your appearance to try to impress men/me”, rather than “you’re putting in effort since you like drawing on your face and feeling tall” or something.
shuu_iam(Quote) (Reply)
I’m sure that being a beautiful woman can have downsides for those women, but to those who aren’t burdened by good looks, being attractive seems to get one benefits that don’t go to women who aren’t as pretty. We can also make the case that rich kids aren’t privileged because there are some uncomfortable social side effects to having a lot of money, but I doubt we’re going to disavow the entire concept of economic privilege next because of that. A lot of white people don’t see the color of their skin as ever having given them something of value. Yay for getting rid of those invisible knapsacks, right?
No, being more attractive hasn’t shattered the glass ceiling for women, but that’s because no individual quality exists independent of all others. In general, being a man gives you more access than being a woman. In general, being attractive gets you more than being unattractive. Being of the dominant race and/or phenotype for your country, being educated, having wealth, being cisgender, being neurotypical; these things have value in our larger society, even if we disagree with the amount each thing should be ‘worth’ in any given situation.
Short version: Everything beneficial can have detriments as well. It doesn’t mean they are not privileges, it just means that nothing is perfect.
Theora(Quote) (Reply)
There’s the infuriating fact that attractive professors are rated higher by students than unattractive professors. In thinking about it, I’m ashamed to realize that I have actually done this — not on a formal rating or survey, but I had a chemistry TA who was also a Miss America contestant, and I COULD NOT STOP TALKING about how awesome it was that she was both gorgeous and brilliant.
Allie(Quote) (Reply)
Also. I agree with what Jennifer Kesler said: “MOST of these supposed privileges are heaped on women that men find attractive, and that is clearly so that these “privileges” will benefit men. We get free beer on ladies’ night and dates paid for, but those are both about getting men laid, and pressuring women into providing that service. Meanwhile, their privilege is to be presidents and CEOs.” Quite so.
Allie(Quote) (Reply)
Theora,
A privilege is not merely having it better than someone else, and that’s the definition you seem to be working from. A privilege is something unearned that is extended to someone for having some unrelated trait that.
And a conventionally beautiful woman does not just roll out of bed and engage in basic animal grooming, like a conventionally beautiful man, and go about her day with people throwing flowers at her feet. She wears makeup and accessorizes and goes to a lot of trouble on her hair to show the patriarchy she is willing to comply with their gender norms and would like that Beautiful Woman Perk Package in exchange. She acts demure, doesn’t let on she’s smart, doesn’t defy any gender norms. It costs money, and it takes time and energy. She EARNS the perks. It’s not a privilege.
In support of that claim, I notice people treating me quite differently when I wear makeup or when I straightened my naturally curly hair and have done various other things to “comply” with the beauty standard. You do get some perks just for “trying” to comply (and that wasn’t really my goal at any point, it just coincided with what I felt like doing at the time).
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
In my most recent article, I not only identified the time you have to spend to make yourself conventionally “beautiful” as a problem, but also let’s call it “security risks”.
If you’re conforming to parts of the female dress code like (narrow) skirts and heels, as well as thin clothes, you cannot defend yourself very well if you must, it’s difficult to kick or to run and your clothes won’t avoid minor injuries like scratches.
If this is too off-topic because it’s more about clothes than how your body looks (or too 101), feel free to delete it.
Zweisatz(Quote) (Reply)
Zweisatz,
Not off-topic at all. I think maybe where we can all agree is here:
(1) Yes, in some ways, conventionally beautiful women are treated better (though, I would argue, in many ways they’re treated worse)
(2) But this happens entirely in a context of setting these women up to benefit men. They’re not allowed to serve any other purpose, or they instantly lose their perks.
It’s kind of like the claim that antebellum house slaves were treated better than field slaves. Even assuming that’s true (I think it’s more complicated, just as with the beautiful women vs. the un-beautiful, but let’s assume), it was only because house slaves were trophies with which the master impressed his friends.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
meerkat,
That’s true – a person can have all of those privileges and still not be considered conventionally beautiful. But all too often I see, for example, women of color who fit the beauty standard in every other respect being judged by men as less attractive than white women who fit the beauty standard less. It seems like a lot of the time white women’s whiteness makes them automatically more beautiful to men than women of color, and that kind of thing is what I was trying to get at by mentioning the privilege thing. I would bet that older women, disabled women, etc. experience the same thing, although I can’t speak for anyone.
Suicidewinder(Quote) (Reply)
John T Malloy did research on attractiveness, and he wrote about it in “Women’s Dress for Success”. You can get the research details there. What I remember is that he did find that attractiveness, up to a point, makes it easier to get hired or whatever, but that it’s possible to be too attractive. A woman wrote him and told him that she wore makeup to look *less* attractive in order to be taken seriously at work. He wrote about this in his newspaper column and a whole flood of people complained, but a few other women also told him the same thing. It’s in the book (not sure if it’s in both editions or just the second one).
Anemone(Quote) (Reply)
Anemone,
Oooh, I read that book! It was very informative and I promptly forgot everything in it. I tend to wear tshirts and jeans. Oops. I remember liking it, though, and thinking that if THAT MUCH attention to every minute detail in my entire existence (of clothes and whatnot) was what it took, then screw that. I may have to reread it someday, but right now I’m certainly not the kind of person who would benefit from it.
I do remember something like that in it, as well. Seriously, this was a great book to learn more about “acceptability” when it comes to female professionalism in appearance. It was fairly terrifying.
The Other Anne(Quote) (Reply)
Now I’m thinking of Debrahlee, who was fired for being too pretty
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20006646-504083.html
http://abovethelaw.com/2010/06/woman-claims-she-was-fired-for-being-too-attractive/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/07/debrahlee-lorenzana-citig_n_603494.html
http://news.change.org/stories/woman-fired-from-citibank-for-being-too-sexy
The Change.Org link is especially interesting, because it points out that Lorenzano was first hired to be pretty but then fired when her prettiness was considered unprofessional.
Maria(Quote) (Reply)
And here’s one that talks about race and ethnicity in this case as well:
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2010/06/did-citibank-fire-woman-for-being-too.html
Maria(Quote) (Reply)
Next Comments →
{ 1 trackback }