Er, Etsy is allowing seller “youstupidbitch” to offer cards that “display the picture, but it’s worse than you think, depicting a naked woman huddled in the shower with the tagline, “Congratulations, you got bad touched.”" Read more about it here at the Daily Kos.
The vendor claims the card could be ironically give to someone who’s been through an airport pat-down or something, but again: the vendor’s name is YouStupidBitch. It’s very clear exactly what these cards are about.
Oh, but just in case that doesn’t convince you:
UPDATE: The same user on Etsy also sells cards that “congratulate” breast cancer patients and mock mothers of special needs children. Tell Etsy to remove all of these cards ASAP!
But the good news is, that “convince you” link goes to a petition to tell Etsy that having “no control over the quality, safety, morality or legality of any aspect of the items listed” doesn’t exonerate them from needing to disconnect this seller’s account or something.
For what it’s worth, no website can ever really claim zero responsibility for what’s on their servers. Hopefully, Etsy will feel the pressure and realize this is not just tacky and irresponsible. It’s hate speech.
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
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Wow. Why do words have to fail me? Yet they do. Unbelievable. Thanks for pointing it out, let’s get this guy closed down.
The Other Patrick(Quote) (Reply)
*dies a little inside* oh my God.
Attackfish(Quote) (Reply)
And some people still deny that rape culture exists…
M.C.(Quote) (Reply)
One of the cards that are super-subliminal fucked (even though they ALL are fucked) is the black guy shaking hands with the white guy and the caption “CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’VE GOT AIDS!” Like…WHAT THE FLYIN’ FUCK ARE YOU IMPLYING~!?!?
Casey(Quote) (Reply)
Just sent:
Because of your refusal to remove *youstupidbitch* as a seller from your site, I will be removing myself as a buyer.
My account name is *****. Please cancel my account immediately.
JLM(Quote) (Reply)
…okay, WHAT kind of person thought these kinds of cards were a good idea??
Would I go so far as to call them hate speech? No, just in REALLY bad taste and acutely insensitive and derogatory.
Red(Quote) (Reply)
Moreover, they’re fugly.
Nuria(Quote) (Reply)
I’ve never heard anyone try to deny that people like this seller exist. One sick individual doesn’t make a culture.
If it turns out he’s has 10000 sales, that’s a different matter.
Dom Camus(Quote) (Reply)
Exactly my reaction.
SunlessNick(Quote) (Reply)
Where’s the “send only in plain brown wrapper to lonely perverts and stupid frat rats” meme when we need it? Some things should not be offered on the open market!
OTH – when censorship really kicks in, who is the first casualty? Not jerks like this – feminist sites (OMG, that cancer ad said BREAST! Yank it!) and truth-tellers.
What’s a person to do?
Patricia Mathews(Quote) (Reply)
You’ve got it a little backwards there. This seller is not the entirety of rape culture, but a product of it. He (I’m assuming it’s a he) didn’t come up with the idea that selling these hurtful images is okay in a vacuum. His worldview has been created by millennia of societies that devalue the rights and innate humanity of women.
Robin(Quote) (Reply)
I hate to break it to you, but even without ETSY, this person has their own website:
http://www.youstupidbitch.com/
It’s really sad that in our culture “irony” has given people a free pass to be complete bigots.
Don’t even get me started on Regretsy. About a month ago, Regretsy posted a link to their Facebook page making fun of not just the jewelry one ETSY member was selling, but the model’s breasts that the jewelry was on. The entire comment thread (500+ comments) bashed on the size of the model’s breasts and the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra. Not even taking into account that the seller was from a different country and culture, and regardless, 99% of the posters were women.
I don’t care how much your organization donates to charitable causes, it doesn’t give you a free pass to be a pig.
Ugh.
Willis(Quote) (Reply)
This. I mean, even my 70-something year old mother who lives in the middle of nowhere understands that we live in a rape culture, even if she can’t put a name to it.
It’s not ONE PERSON. It’s everything all together, from jackholes like this to how easily we dismiss an unsettling encounter with a strange man staring and following a woman as, “Oh, he was just messing with her head.”
Like it’s not anything to be concerned about when some creeper creeps.
sbg(Quote) (Reply)
Exactly this, but more. Don, if you don’t think rape culture exists, that’s tremendous male privilege happening, so let’s break that down. First, look at some very common beliefs held by very nice people who are not “sick” but just profoundly mis-educated to believe these things:
–Women are often responsible for getting themselves raped.
–Women are often responsible for dating men who beat the shit out of them. I trust you read my article called “Why didn’t she just leave?”
–Men can’t help raping and harassing women. It’s just in their nature.
–You got raped in the military? Well, what did you think was going to happen if you tried to serve your country, silly (or, should I say, you stupid bitch)?
–You got harassed on your way up the corporate ladder? Well, what did you think would happen if you acted with ambition, silly?
–Your male S.O. cheated on you? Well, what were you not doing to satisfy him?
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Now. Try – you will not succeed, but try – to imagine being a little girl growing up in that culture, getting those messages. Early on, when you don’t yet know what rape is and so on, it’s more just “girls can’t do that” and “girls can’t do that as well as boys.” Later, you find out about rape, and how women who do those things or do those things better than boys can expect to be punished, and it’s their own silly fault.
YOU ARE FUCKING TERRIFIED. And angry. At least I was. Do you continue trying to make it in a male-dominated field, knowing you’ll face harassment, and very likely threatening behavior, and possibly even sexual assault like this woman? (And that’s not the worst example ever.)
Do you persevere in that field, knowing you might get threatened (and stalked and death threatened by people who had her home address and had obviously been to her home) until you have to get the police involved, and then eventually go away quietly? That’s the Kathy Sierra story. And that part of her Wikipedia entry is being disputed by people who don’t understand WHY she was singled out for such abuse. Gee. I wonder. There were a lot of extremely detailed rape fantasy threats, too, but gosh, I’m sure they would have treated a man they didn’t like just the same, so you know, it’s really just Kathy’s fault. And now she’s gone, and no one knows where. And she was making it all up, anyway, you know, because she can’t take jokes or criticism, whichever they were, had they ever existed.
That’s the sort of fear you get with a rape culture: step out of line, and you’ll be punished, bitch. You don’t need many rapists or people like YouStupidBitch to maintain the terrorist threat that culture is making toward women.
Do you get that?
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
From Wikipedia:
Aside from the fact that women aren’t a protected group (natch), I’d say this meets the latter part of that definition. Can you imagine if I made a “Congratulations, you lost your balls to cancer” card, ha ha funny, with a crying, bleeding man mourning the loss of his anatomy (hilarious) – how fast d’ya think that would get yanked? I’d like the same level of protection, please kthanks.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Honestly, I don’t even think it’s super-subliminal. It’s the same very prevalent HIV/AIDS stereotypes (a gay disease, a Black disease) that have become politically incorrect to voice in public, though they remain prevalent because of the “unacceptable” cultural prejudices against those groups (it is actually unacceptable, but there are many people in positions of privilege that feel politically correct speech and ideals have been thrust upon them, not that there is any reason for treating people, you know, equally, so those notions of acceptability and political correctness are subjectively self-enforced based on the groups/individuals with whom that privileged person has to or wants to interact) and because of the assigned taboo nature of discussing bloodborne illness and STD/STI to inform the general public, in particular low-income people and the youth (health education disparity).
I live in a city with 6,910 newly diagnosed HIV/AIDS cases in 2008, and it’s still considered a gay disease, a Haitian disease, and associated with “down-low niggas.” The card is incredibly unsubtle.
Gena(Quote) (Reply)
For what it’s worth, they don’t seem to be selling that AIDS card on YouStupidBitch’s official website, so…there’s that? *forlorn sigh*
Casey(Quote) (Reply)
Oooh, that mental image of that ball cancer card should NOT have sent me into the fit of hysterics I just went into.
I… I just might be a terrible person.
Sam L.(Quote) (Reply)
Okay, I understand.
Agree with your last point.
Red(Quote) (Reply)
To Jen’s post: I looked at those links. DAMN! Poor Kathy.
I have to wonder what kind of people would make such threats against her.
Red(Quote) (Reply)
According to the patriarchy: oh, you know, boys will be boys, they’re not bad guys, they were just having a little fun with a joke and it kind of got out of hand and maybe someone’s life was partially destroyed, but you know, people should lighten up and understand that guys are just like that and they can’t help it.
According to me: they were rolling in privilege. Whether they really intended to hurt her is irrelevant: they did everything a stalker would (“I know where you live, and here in great detail is what I’m going to do to you.” If I behave like a terrorist and scare someone into hiding, the FBI isn’t going to care that I only meant it as a little funny. There’s no reason people like these should be viewed or treated any differently.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Nah. We aren’t responsible for the feelings things trigger in us – only our behavior in response.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Just FYI, YouStupidBitch left a comment here, which we moderated. For those who wonder, he claims he doesn’t hate women and it’s just a joke, like a sitcom, and if you don’t like it, you should look elsewhere. Modded because he hit the grand trifecta:
http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#sensitive
http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#enjoyit
…with a healthy dose of “I’m not a racist/misogynist/whateverist, but here are my extremely bigoted actions and words which you shouldn’t judge me by.”
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Okay, to be fair, I went and looked at all his cards, and the range of tastelessness covers plenty of stuff that isn’t targeted at women. For instance, “Congratulations, you’re in a wheelchair” and “Congratulations, you’re an amputee now” both show a man with amputated legs.
The “Congratulations, you have AIDS” was a doctor congratulating a patient, the same as the breast cancer one (which had two women, one of whom was the doctor). I thought the black man was the doctor, and that there wasn’t some implication that you get AIDS from black people, though I do have to wonder why the only black guy in all of the cards is the doctor in this image. (There’s also a card “Congratulations, you don’t have AIDS”, which uses the same picture.)
There are numerous “relationship” cards, most of which are overtly objectifying women (“Happy Valentines Day, I wouldn’t be dumping you if your ass looked like this” — with a picture of a stereotypically “sexy” woman in skimpy clothes bent over displaying her rear), but some of which apply to either sex (“Merry Christmas, I didn’t get you a present because we both know it’s over”), and one of which seemed to be a woman snarking at a man (“Thanks for the Valentine’s Day present, it’s exactly what I would have gotten me if I didn’t know me at all too”).
I think this seller is positioning himself as a purveyor of “edgy” humor that seeks to be offensive to everyone… but because of patriarchy and various other isms that dominate in our culture, somehow humor that is “offensive to everyone” disproportionately is offensive to women and minorities. A purveyor of “edgy offensive humor” never seems to carry *more* “funny material that mocks men” than “funny material that mocks women”. Gee, wonder why?
Rape culture isn’t about men actively promoting rape (although that happens too)… in this context, it’s about rape being so common, so unimportant, so trivial, that comedy about it is “edgy”… whereas comedy like Hothead Paisan or other “radical feminist” humor that revolves around humorously hyperbolic revenge fantasies against men is somehow “angry” and “not funny”. I’ll believe these guys who say they’re just indulging in edgy black humor when they have an equal number of cartoons that make jokes about how Tiger Woods’ wife’s only mistake was not killing him with the golf club or that a great solution to sexual harassment is high explosives as they do about women getting raped or sexually objectified.
Alara Rogers(Quote) (Reply)
Because sitcoms are renowned for their pro-woman stance.
::huge eyeroll caused me to lose a contact::
sbg(Quote) (Reply)
:eyeroll: Oh, for the love of everything…
Dude, sitcoms done well are actually FUNNY. YOU are NOT funny, just sick and CLUELESS.
BTW: oh, you know about ‘Derailing For Dummies’? I wondered. I’ve addressed it many a time in my arguments over the casting of ‘The Last Airbender’ and other such arguments. I wonder, have you or anyone else here done an article about it? I would LOVE to read someone’s take on it!
Red(Quote) (Reply)
Translation: he thinks he’s ‘edgy’, but he’s really an a**hole.
Red(Quote) (Reply)
There’s a difference between edgy and over the edge. I think this person must not realize that, because he’s so far over the line he might have forgotten the line ever existed.
I also think he’s trying to cash in on the Someecards thing, some of which are inappropriate, some of which are funny, some of which are both.
sbg(Quote) (Reply)
Take on what, exactly? We consider it a good reference guides for explaining our comment mod choices. Were you interested in someone critiquing the actual points on the site, or what?
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Big yes to your last paragraph, and thanks for wading through the cards for a larger perspective.
But I can’t get past his choice to use “YouStupidBitch” as a public handle. That says way more about him than the cards.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
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