Scorned Santa sharpens his claws – meowr!

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I’ve been reading Maureen Dowd’s new book Are Men Necessary? at Redbyrd’s suggestion, and she points out that tearful, emotional pleas and hell-hath-no-fury catfighting sure aren’t reserved for women anymore: from athletes to politicians to evangelists, men are sobbing and bitching their way through their careers nowadays, especially when they’re in the spotlight. Guess it’s just their time of the month. Or maybe they just aren’t built to take the pressure. They have these hormones and stuff, you know.

Or, you know, maybe men and women can be stupid, and it’s just now that the press is starting to use the same terminology for the mentally unstable among us all. Take for example, this scorned would-be champion Santa in some St. Nick competition for sissies that no one gives a crap about. He’s “lashed out”, saying that because his victory of last year didn’t get repeated this year, “Santa morale” will be damaged, boo-hoo. There are rumors of “jealousy and backbiting” and a “conspiracy”, and he’s “miffed”, I tell you – miffed. Aw, go cry into your beer, Santy-pants.

And this Santa fantasizes about his wedding like a little girl:

I’ve had it written into my wedding vows that I’ll be out being Santa on Christmas Day,” Horniblew said.

I vote we put all the Santas into a pit of jello, naked and let them duke it out. Oh, wait, sorry… I was channeling Al Bundy for a second there.

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