A couple of months ago, I was stood up by a friend I’d recently got back in touch with. He fobbed me off on the phone, so I made myself feel better by sending him a vicious text, then an email telling him I expected far better from him and he wouldn’t be hearing from me any more as I had better things to do then wait for people who wasted my time.
Tonight, I finally hear from him. He explained he’d been in the middle of dealing with mental illness, which was why he had treated me so shabbily. He apologised profusely for jerking me around and said he felt deeply ashamed of his actions and that he’d do anything to make it up to me.
I can’t help but wonder if it was this no-bullshit stance that made him eat humble pie so willingly. Would he have apologised so profusely if he thought he could win me back with a smile? Did he think this girl is someone I want in my life so I’d better show I appreciate her? Would he have made such an effort to show appreciation if he’d thought all he needed to show was his charm? Would he have been so willing to admit he was wrong and ask my forgiveness – a deep sign of maturity and respect, IMHO – if I had been a silly little thing desperate for men to like me?
I don’t think so.
I feel like I achieved something today, in making a man realise he’d better treat me with respect or I won’t waste my time on him, and in making a man realise that he may not have to apologise to a silly little thing, but she won’t be nearly as interesting, challenging and thought-provoking as me. I realise this is just one man and one situation, but its given credence to my suspicions that men only treat women like crap because women let them, and if women stood their ground, men would soon enough back down from places they had no right to be in the first place.