This is a true story, with names changed.
There was a little girl named Jill. She had a little brother named Tim and several other sisters and brothers. Jill observed time and again that if she or any of the sisters hit Tim, as kids sometimes do, and Tim told on them, Mommy punished them for hitting him. But if Tim hit them, and they told on him, Mommy punished the girls for being tattle tales. And if Tim hit the girls and the girls hit back, Mommy punished the girls.
There was no other violence in the household (unless you count spanking, but this was many years ago). Daddy didn’t beat Mommy. Neither parent beat the kids. No one ever said, sometimes women deserved to be hit. It was just that Tim was allowed to hit the girls, and the girls were sworn to a conspiracy of silence. Oh, and the girls had to do Tim’s chores so he could go clown around as much as liked.
Jill grew up to have some issues which did her no favors in life. But Tim grew up to be a wife beater. And a heroin addict. He was very intelligent, and had many opportunities at excellent jobs, but he trashed every one of them. A surprising number of nice women married him. He would disappear for years on end, either homeless or in jail. He hurt his wives and children. He hurt himself. He could have been a happy, fulfilled person, if only Mommy hadn’t set him up to be a monster.
I’ll always consider Jill the bigger victim. She could have been a much more happy, fulfilled person if Mommy hadn’t set her up to believe she didn’t have any rights. But at least Jill could take assurance in the fact that she was a decent person who did right by others. I doubt Tim ever felt good about anything, except maybe when he used heroin.
And why did Mommy do this? Because Mommy had wanted a career, but her society told her that would be wrong. And so as Mommy bought into her own oppression and allowed it to twist her mind, it made sense to her to teach the girls they could do no right and the boys they could do no wrong.
The next time someone tells you feminism is against men’s best interests, feel free to tell them this story. Better yet, look for examples like this from your own experience.