Recently a lot of people I know have gotten married, which has led to discussions on hen’s and buck’s parties. In this day and age, most of us have both men and women friends, and share hobbies with them that cover a range of both “˜male’ and “˜female’ activities. My favourite drinking buddy is a guy, and so is my favourite arthouse-film-and-coffee-discussion friend. I know plenty of women who’s idea of a fun Sunday afternoon is go-karting or a round of golf and plenty of men who are into philosophical discussions and watching soap operas.
In short, I know no-one who truly fits into a typical “˜male’ or “˜female’ role when it comes to socialising or having fun.
Which has led to discussion on the point of bucks and hens nights, where you divide all the men and women up and go and do separate things. This has often led to female friends of the groom being dumped in with women she doesn’t know and vice-versa, all for the sake of propriety. I’ve heard several complaints from women who were friends of the groom who got stuck going to tuppaware parties (I kid you not!) with women they didn’t know when paint-balling with the guys sounded much more fun, and complaints from male friends of the bride who would rather have gone out drinking and dancing with the girls then playing pool and kicking back with guys they don’t know.
I’ll have that problem myself when I plan my hen’s night. One of my best friends is a guy, and happens to get on better with my girlfriends then my guy friends. He’ll be much more at home with us then with the guys, so I feel it would be inconsiderate to make him spent the night with bf and his cliquey friends when he could be going wild with women he has a genuine camaraderie with.
But bf has a couple of close women friends who get along far better with him and his mates then they do with me and my girlfriends (and occasional guy friend), and apparently his plan is to dump them on me, no matter how bored or left out they might feel. Because you don’t have women at a buck’s night.
Why the hell not? Isn’t the idea of splitting the men and women up and doing their own thing a little antiquated? Shouldn’t the idea of “˜a last hurrah’ before a wedding be that you get all your mates together and have a glorious time, gender be damned? Are we all still a little distrusting of each other that, days before we commit ourselves to one another, we hole up along gender lines?
I’m going to do something bold for my hen’s night. I’m going to go out with all my mates, and the only prerequisite will be that you be willing to drink, dance the night away and go at least a little bit wild.