Comments on: The price men pay for misogyny http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/ Fresh-baked media snark, served with love. Fri, 10 Sep 2010 11:47:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: daaargh http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1665 daaargh Mon, 08 May 2006 09:09:33 +0000 http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1665 men grow up with ideas about what is attractive mouth fed to them by peers and media. funnily enough this being a male dominated society, a large portion of media "eye-candy" is catered toward men. at the same time women are not fed as much of that rubbish and hence have a more real and down to earth way of looking a men. perhaps this can go a small way in beginning to explain this interesting point you raised men grow up with ideas about what is attractive mouth fed to them by peers and media. funnily enough this being a male dominated society, a large portion of media “eye-candy” is catered toward men. at the same time women are not fed as much of that rubbish and hence have a more real and down to earth way of looking a men. perhaps this can go a small way in beginning to explain this interesting point you raised

]]> By: scarlett http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1636 scarlett Sat, 06 May 2006 03:08:39 +0000 http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1636 I was at work checking out the guys after my comment about being attracted to 10% of women seems rather low... and I thought, yeah, most of these guys I find at least a little attractive - I'd say about 80%. I may have just gotten a good mix but it made me wonder if women are far more broad in their definitions of attractive? I was at work checking out the guys after my comment about being attracted to 10% of women seems rather low… and I thought, yeah, most of these guys I find at least a little attractive – I’d say about 80%. I may have just gotten a good mix but it made me wonder if women are far more broad in their definitions of attractive?

]]> By: scarlett http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1635 scarlett Sat, 06 May 2006 03:05:05 +0000 http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1635 Yeah, I was reading your comment and thinking 'that sounds like my story'. Pilfer away - they said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery :p Yeah, I was reading your comment and thinking ‘that sounds like my story’. Pilfer away – they said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery :p

]]> By: Firebird http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1632 Firebird Fri, 05 May 2006 20:58:32 +0000 http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1632 EEK! Sorry, Scarlett, it was your story I was thinking of. Is it a compliment that I owned it enough to want to tell it as a story a friend told to me? Please forgive me for not remembering it was you that told that story. :-( Firebird EEK! Sorry, Scarlett, it was your story I was thinking of. Is it a compliment that I owned it enough to want to tell it as a story a friend told to me?

Please forgive me for not remembering it was you that told that story. :-(

Firebird

]]> By: Jennifer Kesler http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1631 Jennifer Kesler Fri, 05 May 2006 18:32:44 +0000 http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1631 Scarlett told a story very much like that a while back. I do think what the rabbi's saying doesn't apply to every man. It's just a significant enough percentage of them to worry. Scarlett told a story very much like that a while back.

I do think what the rabbi’s saying doesn’t apply to every man. It’s just a significant enough percentage of them to worry.

]]> By: Firebird http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1630 Firebird Fri, 05 May 2006 18:31:48 +0000 http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1630 This might be a bit off-topic, but I wanted to explain the "soul-mate" comment. Kabbalah (the arena of mysticism and mystical interpretation in Judaism) holds that all human souls are the shattered bits of light from the primordial "shattering of the vessels", more or less almost to be understood as tiny pieces of G-d's love or light or character or something like that. It's somewhat difficult to conceptualize in words. In any case, it's thought that there are 613 families of souls, and "soul-mates" are half of the same soul inhabiting two different bodies - some say that any other soul piece from the same "family" would be a "soul-mate" and others say that there is only one "soul-mate" for any given soul in the world; however, it fairly universally taught that the soul now inhabiting your body is given the choice of accepting its task in <i>tikkun olahm</i> (roughly: repairing the world/universe/reality) before birth ("This is your mission, should you choose to accept it). <i>Tikkun olahm</i> involves "raising sparks" - among other things, joining and repairing the shattered souls. However, it is also thought that some souls have tasks to do in <i>tikkun olahm</i> that do not include finding and marrying a "soul-mate" and Judaism is very very heavy on the idea of free will. So the Rabbi would probably agree with you that some people may not need to be looking for a soul mate. :-) Firebird This might be a bit off-topic, but I wanted to explain the “soul-mate” comment. Kabbalah (the arena of mysticism and mystical interpretation in Judaism) holds that all human souls are the shattered bits of light from the primordial “shattering of the vessels”, more or less almost to be understood as tiny pieces of G-d’s love or light or character or something like that. It’s somewhat difficult to conceptualize in words.

In any case, it’s thought that there are 613 families of souls, and “soul-mates” are half of the same soul inhabiting two different bodies – some say that any other soul piece from the same “family” would be a “soul-mate” and others say that there is only one “soul-mate” for any given soul in the world; however, it fairly universally taught that the soul now inhabiting your body is given the choice of accepting its task in tikkun olahm (roughly: repairing the world/universe/reality) before birth (“This is your mission, should you choose to accept it). Tikkun olahm involves “raising sparks” – among other things, joining and repairing the shattered souls.

However, it is also thought that some souls have tasks to do in tikkun olahm that do not include finding and marrying a “soul-mate” and Judaism is very very heavy on the idea of free will. So the Rabbi would probably agree with you that some people may not need to be looking for a soul mate. :-)

Firebird

]]> By: Firebird http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1629 Firebird Fri, 05 May 2006 18:12:10 +0000 http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1629 I was talking to someone recently (I can't remember who) and she told me she once had a friend who told her his favorite season was the first couple of weeks of autumn, just as it gets cold enough to wear long sleeves and jeans and boots. He said, according to my friend, that he loved the tailored coats and the curve-flattering long jeans and the boots and shiny belts - all the finery of winter before we get bored and cold and wrap up in any old thing that comes to hand. So this guy told his friends once - a group of guys - about his love of autumn and his appreciation of female attire in that season, and they accused him of being gay, can you believe that? Is it possible there are lots more of guys like this wandering around, afraid to voice their tastes because they can't handle bucking their societal groups? Firebird I was talking to someone recently (I can’t remember who) and she told me she once had a friend who told her his favorite season was the first couple of weeks of autumn, just as it gets cold enough to wear long sleeves and jeans and boots. He said, according to my friend, that he loved the tailored coats and the curve-flattering long jeans and the boots and shiny belts – all the finery of winter before we get bored and cold and wrap up in any old thing that comes to hand.

So this guy told his friends once – a group of guys – about his love of autumn and his appreciation of female attire in that season, and they accused him of being gay, can you believe that? Is it possible there are lots more of guys like this wandering around, afraid to voice their tastes because they can’t handle bucking their societal groups?

Firebird

]]> By: Jennifer Kesler http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1615 Jennifer Kesler Thu, 04 May 2006 13:47:32 +0000 http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1615 He's talking about the encouragement of misogyny. Our society hates/fears women, just like the Victorian society (we have the very same prude/perv dynamic, and TV played no small part in crystalizing that). Most people buy into society's party line, and that includes men. Men who don't buy into society's party line - and there are plenty of them, but not I fear a majority - may have trouble even comprehending what the article is talking about. The easiest ways to understand the sort of men the rabbi is talking about is be one, or date one. If you're in a position to do neither, the article may not make as much sense to you. He’s talking about the encouragement of misogyny. Our society hates/fears women, just like the Victorian society (we have the very same prude/perv dynamic, and TV played no small part in crystalizing that). Most people buy into society’s party line, and that includes men.

Men who don’t buy into society’s party line – and there are plenty of them, but not I fear a majority – may have trouble even comprehending what the article is talking about. The easiest ways to understand the sort of men the rabbi is talking about is be one, or date one. If you’re in a position to do neither, the article may not make as much sense to you.

]]> By: scarlett http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1613 scarlett Thu, 04 May 2006 09:01:10 +0000 http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1613 I agree that you can't be expected to be attracted to every single person out there, but still, 10% seems very narrow; if you rounded up ten random men around my age I think I'd find at least 3-4 reasonably attractive - that's 30-40%. Are men so conditioned to seek a stereotyped idea of beauty - tall, toned, clear-skinned, shapely - that they CAN only find 10% of the population attractive? I agree that you can’t be expected to be attracted to every single person out there, but still, 10% seems very narrow; if you rounded up ten random men around my age I think I’d find at least 3-4 reasonably attractive – that’s 30-40%. Are men so conditioned to seek a stereotyped idea of beauty – tall, toned, clear-skinned, shapely – that they CAN only find 10% of the population attractive?

]]> By: Prosfilaes http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1610 Prosfilaes Thu, 04 May 2006 06:30:15 +0000 http://thehathorlegacy.com/the-price-men-pay-for-misogyny/#comment-1610 The contemporary Western male? Exactly how contemporary are we talking here? What I hear of Victorian times had more male bonding and less respect for women, with the first sexual experience being with a prostitute. After which, he would marry someone to have on his arm at social functions and to raise his children, not a soulmate. If we accept "Most of the men I meet aren’t even that attracted to their wives and live in predictable and monotonous drudgery in their marriages as a result." as an accurate description, has it ever been different? When he says "I meet husbands whose real confidantes are still their drinking and card-playing buddies, and who are lonely in their marriages as a result", perhaps the big difference between these men and Victorians was their excessive expectation from their marriages, because it's not who their real confidants are. 'Nearly all the men I know are only attracted to about one in 10 women, that is, the 10 percent of women they consider "hot."' I can not believe that in a world of coed education, that anyone, male or female, is going to walk down the halls and be honestly attracted to half the people there. Perhaps if they grew up in a single-sex environment, but you couldn't survive if everyone of the opposite sex would take your breath away. There seems to be valid points in this article, but it seems very mixed in with a horribly unrealistic Good Old Days attitude, harking back to a day that never really existed. The contemporary Western male? Exactly how contemporary are we talking here? What I hear of Victorian times had more male bonding and less respect for women, with the first sexual experience being with a prostitute. After which, he would marry someone to have on his arm at social functions and to raise his children, not a soulmate. If we accept “Most of the men I meet aren’t even that attracted to their wives and live in predictable and monotonous drudgery in their marriages as a result.” as an accurate description, has it ever been different? When he says “I meet husbands whose real confidantes are still their drinking and card-playing buddies, and who are lonely in their marriages as a result”, perhaps the big difference between these men and Victorians was their excessive expectation from their marriages, because it’s not who their real confidants are.

‘Nearly all the men I know are only attracted to about one in 10 women, that is, the 10 percent of women they consider “hot.”‘ I can not believe that in a world of coed education, that anyone, male or female, is going to walk down the halls and be honestly attracted to half the people there. Perhaps if they grew up in a single-sex environment, but you couldn’t survive if everyone of the opposite sex would take your breath away.

There seems to be valid points in this article, but it seems very mixed in with a horribly unrealistic Good Old Days attitude, harking back to a day that never really existed.

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