Thirty Things I Have and Know

In this post, swankivy breaks down the problematic language/ideas in one of those “By XXX, every woman should” articles. She then ended with her 30 by 30 list. I really like the idea, and wanted to not only make my own, but also read others’ lists. So, here’s mine. Please post yours!

30 Things I Have and Know

The thirty things I’ve acquired and learned by age 30. That I don’t generalize and hand down with “shoulds.”

By 30, I had. . . . 

1. finished at least one creative project I had selected and designed for myself.
2. achieved a self-selected educational milestone.
3. really awesome, amazing friends
4. published.
5. hobbies of my own.
6. a living “routine” that I could transplant to new places in order to make them a home.
7. a go-to potluck recipe.
8. a really good routine for my hair.
9. a profound indifference to others’ disdain. HATERS GONNA HATE.
10. a sense of what I wanted in my own family.
11. the confidence to ask for what I want in a relationship.
12. a really awesome cat.
13. the willingness to acquire new skills
14. an understanding that things may not be want you planned
15. the optimism to not give up when that’s the case

By 30, I knew. . . .

1. how to look up directions for minor home repair.
2. that loving someone doesn’t mean they’re good for you.
3. the power of my no. (Shhh. Let it wash over you like a gentle wave)
4. how to “put out fires” — the stupid administrative shit that crops up as a distraction when you’re trying to create.
5. how to say “no” to opportunities that don’t fit
6. how to be “there” (IE emotionally and physically present) for a friend, lover, or student
7. that the way I feel is not always logical but is always something to respect
8. that time passes whether or not I pay attention to it
9. that even though SOMEONE IS WRONG on the internet, I don’t have to handle it
10. that family isn’t defined by blood.
11. that I don’t owe people an explanation for my awesomeness.
12. printing out tons and tons of stories, articles, etc., is not a substitute for writing.
13. that you can’t save everyone.
14. some jobs are worth walking away from
15. some books will hurt you when you read them — but only when you need their content and passion.

I highlighted the ones that seem the most important to me right now. :) I’d love to see others’ lists!


  1. twicker says

    I’m going to guess it’s intentional, but I did think that the #9 item in what you knew deserved a link to this:

    (for those unfamiliar with it – enjoy :) )

    I’ll put together my own list when I have more time (and I’ll likely crib greatly from yours). I’ll do the same with, “What I had & knew by 40,” because, as it happens, things I “knew” when I was 30 weren’t quite what I really knew …

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