Jesus Christ. Okay, here’s the book description:
Consigned at birth to society’s scrapheap, the closest Anna Gray has gotten to adventure is an outbreak of Black Pox. But when the enemy lays waste to her village, Anna unleashes a terrible power – one that teems beneath her skin, inviting her to tear apart the earth itself.
Now Anna has to trade her home for jungle heat and desert sand, tracking down the women who share her elemental gift. They call themselves the Daeva. A bunch of manphobic glamazons. And what they lack in social graces they make up for in raw power, tapping into the wild cosmic energy known as the Aether.
Battling through a hostile world with a team of six companions, Anna must rely on the very gift that has damned her. Yet to invite in the Aether is to risk one’s humanity…and the lives of everyone Anna loves.
I… really should’ve turned back at “manphobic glamazons” but figured hey, maybe it’s funny?
Bad choice, Maria. Bad choice!
Here’s where I wanted to stop reading:
‘Yes, I know, Miss Munslow, but –‘
‘Mz,’ corrected Anna. The term was a newfangled form of address some female scholar had invested in the city. It signified a lady was married but could live perfectly well without her husband’s income. Anna didn’t really see the point of inventing words.
That’s 1% in. But I figured, hey, what the hell? I LOVE elemental magic stories. They’re kind of my FAVORITE THING. So I keep on.
Mary Munslow’s treasure could not be called upon. It was felt on the tongue, tasted in the bus, and gone with the gulp, with evidence of its existence lingering on the waist and in the grease stain…
We’re 2% in, y’all, and have already started with the fat, belligerent feminist references. FINE, OKAY, it’s like that huh? Whatever. I keep reading. Now, here’s where it gradually became untolerable.
‘Crud,’ bawled Anna. Too loudly. Mary can hear a chocolate sprinkle hit the grount at fifty metres.
:twitch: Leaving aside the fatphobia, let’s look at the definition of “bawl.”
bawled past participle, past tense of bawl (Verb)
So… If Anna’s bawling, she’s already being loud. THAT’S THE DEFINITION OF THE WORD. So how is she — and by extension, the reader — surprised Munslow heard her?
Also, holy tense mashup, Batman! Throughout, the tense in-text shifts from present to past pretty indiscriminately. WTF? This is what editors are for.