TRIGGER WARNING: this article talks about rape. No specifics, but lots of hypotheticals.
Have you seen the “Don’t Rape Her” meme? It goes something like this:
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn’t have long hair and women shouldn’t wear short skirts. Women shouldn’t leave drinks unattended. Hell, women shouldn’t dare to get drunk at all. Instead of that bullshit, how about:
- If a woman is drunk, don’t rape her.
- If a woman is walking alone at night, don’t rape her.
- If a woman is drugged and unconscious, don’t rape her.
- If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don’t rape her.
This meme is causing controversy for… well, some reasons I maybe understand, but others I totally don’t. It seems a lot of people really do think teaching the women in their lives karate and tea-totaling should do the trick.
I have some better suggestions. If you really want women to prevent rape, let’s be freakin’ serious about it. There may be some facetiousness in this post, for the purpose of demonstrating how ridiculous it is to hold victims responsible, but I’m not telling you which bits I’m serious about. I want you to, for five seconds, feel the fear I live with.
- All women will be issued handguns by the government and trained how to use them properly.
- Instead of conditioning women to think, “Gosh, I’m sure he’s not going to rape me, I must be misunderstanding” and wait until it’s too late for self-defense, we will train them to err on the side of caution and shoot first.
- If a man touches you without permission, shoot him because he might be a rapist.
- If a man catcalls, whistles, or yells out observations about your body, shoot him because he might be a rapist.
- If a man startles you, you’d better shoot him just to be safe.
- If you have already been raped, hunt down the man who did it and shoot him so he can’t rape anymore women. (The only non-serial rapist is a one who died or got imprisoned after committing the first rape.)
- Additionally, starting at the age of 6, girls will be taught how to emotionally abuse the hell out of men in case there’s a child rapist in their home. I started learning these skills when I was 8, and it kept me safe from my home predator, but a lot of daddy/uncle/friend of family rapists start earlier than that, so girls need to be prepared. To this day, I can verbally castrate a stranger at ten paces and send him off to find an easier target.
This way, the criminal justice system need not bother dealing with rape, and men need not change their behavior. They will simply get dead. A lot.
Some of these men will be innocent of having had any intent to rape, but that doesn’t matter. It’s never mattered that women don’t deserve rape – it happens anyway. Fair’s fair.
Like I said, there is some facetiousness in this post – maybe a lot, I’m not saying – but you should be uncomfortable talking about rape. You should not think you have all the answers, because no one does. You and I both should be jarred once in a while out of our answer boxes and forced to think over the problem from another angle.
Tomorrow, I’ll write up what I really think about this meme.