This is particularly funny because I actually collected hard data and crunched the numbers and found that sex is *negatively* correlated with box office. When I reported this on an actors forum, I was told I was wrong.

Splutter, splutter.

I managed to find a coauthor to help me get my numbers into an academic journal. Should be fun when the paper comes out.

Did I already link to this here?

I guess I’m strange, but if I know a guy’s off-limits, I just don’t even go there. Maybe I’m lacking those overwhelming hormones that force you to lust after people who are married or otherwise off-limits?

A friend of mine got involved with a guy in a longterm relationship, and one of the reasons she cited was she loved that he desired her so much he would jeapordise his relationship. I pointed out that if a guy’s going to cheat, it’s not about the person he cheats with, it’s about him being a jerk. I think she got that intellectually but egotistically, she loved the idea of being so desirable he woudl jeapordise his relationship to be with her.

I suspect that’s a huge factor in people pursuing people who are off-limits. And I think that comes down to self-esteem. When you have a healthy self-image you don’t find married men desiring you to be a compliment, and you have higher standards than married men anyway. I’m not saying it’s entirely the fault of the people who pursue people who are off-limits – women are so sociallyconditioned to place their worth in what men think of them – but I think it’s a sad state of affairs when women judge their worth by how far an off-limits guy is willing to go for them.

I guess I’m strange, but if I know a guy’s off-limits, I just don’t even go there.I guess I’m strange, but if I know a guy’s off-limits, I just don’t even go there. - BetaCandy

Millennium is a good example there, with Frank Black and Lara Means. They do spark a couple of times, but Frank’s married and he’s not going to cheat, and Lara is not going to ask him to, or pine over him. And they’re both insightful enough that they’d sense a romantic relationship would likely be disastrous for them as colleagues, friends, and people who both suffer terrifying visions.

I’m betting that we don’t see a cat-fight. Can I keep my fingers crossed?

And romances do happen in real life, it’s true, but to claim that as justification for shoving it down our throats constantly is daft; more often than not, it doesn’t happen. More often than not people have complex and interesting relationships not based around sex. I know, it’s tough to believe, but I do not want to have sex with my male coworkers. I’m happy to have a drink with them now and again or share stories or whatnot…but no to the sex.

I wish someone somewhere would brave the non-romantic front, because honestly? It’s not what drives me toward shows. If it’s there only as a plot device, it’s what drives me away.

As in so many cases, Alias is a telling example. One of the biggest relationships in Syd’s life is with Dixon – dramatic, powerful, nuanced – and with no hint of a sexual element. Then there’s Weiss, who grew close to her in the early part of season 3, but again, not in a sexual way, just the way of a man who sees his friend going through hell.
The there’s Will and Vaughn, both of whom cross into sexual territory: with Will, there’s so much else between them, and it’s those other things that define them and their relationship; with Vaughn, it’s couched in romantic terms from the very beginning, and easily becomes the least compelling part of the show (I also think that much of what Vaughn feels and does for Syd could have been incorporated just as easily using a colleague-bond).

Love and sex are given such primacy that they end up crowding out other elements: characters who relate on that level too often have other levels of relationship neglected; and relationships that function on only one level get pretty dull. The assumption that sex is the most dramatic level can end up leeching more drama than it provides.

Maybe Stargate is an example there as well.