This, submitted by The Other Anne, surprised me because it actually comes from one of our other regular commenters. That makes things a little awkward, but it’s a big case of fail that needs to be discussed. Clarissa of Clarissa’s Box says male privilege doesn’t exist:
As a woman, I am routinely underpaid and discriminated in the workplace. In this country, women in all professions are paid less than men for performing the same work. This is disgusting, unfair, and wrong. When you experience it yourself, as I did, it is also very painful. So is that male privilege at work? You could say so if it weren’t for one little thing. I could quit my job today and spend the rest of my life painting my nails and snoozing on the couch while my husband would exercise his male privilege to pay all of my bills, bear the financial responsibility for both of us, stress out about the competition in the workplace and the danger of being laid-off, and die several years earlier than I do.
Clarissa, seriously? How long have you been reading my site, girl? You totally disappeared about 95% of American women in that comment – it would be funny if you weren’t serious. First, Anne’s response:
My reaction: WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN.
Where to begin? Well, for one, no. Not all women can stay at home and paint their nails while their husbands work. For one thing, not everyone has or wants a husband. Not everyone likes men. Not everyone is upper class, or upper middle class, and can afford to have only one person contributing to a household (assuming this is a hetero marriage). Case in point: my parents. My mom had to work to make ends meet the first many years of their marriage. Then she worked to save her from the boring tedium of not doing anything all day. Now she works because her current husband is a retired pilot with a monthly pension and part time job who mostly sits around all day.
And that’s barely scratching the surface of why this post was so full of ablism, classism, sexism, and completely disappeared non-hetero non-cis-gendered people. Quite honestly the laziest argument I’ve ever read–and one that I got, honestly, last year from a mysoginist “friend” of mine who, after learning I was feminist, went all MRA on me about lazy women and how sexism is a lie because women don’t HAVE to work and men DO and the social pressures on men and girls want to be the little spoon and lesbians just need to find better men and they’ll be cured!
Very well said. My first response had a lot of foul language in it, to be honest, because I am one of those women she “disappears.” I’m from a low-class background, and you tend to attract people from your own class, so I’ve never gotten within spitting distance of marrying a man who was ever going to earn enough to feed two people, let alone kids, too. There are precisely two ways for “low class” women to move up a class: if they’re beautiful, they might get to “marry up.” If, like me, they are not beautiful, they have to get out there and earn it themselves. In either case, depending on a man for anything is usually trouble because you’ve got your class and gender screaming “Walk all over me, no one will care” louder than any badass attitude you might radiate. It tends to attract predators.
Oh, yeah. I didn’t even manage to “mooch” a college degree off my parents. I will be stunned if someday some man making great money offers not only to pay my expenses for life, but to pay for servants and services so I don’t have to stir from the couch, the way Clarissa describes – and comments reveal she really did absolutely mean she wouldn’t have to do anything around the house, except occasionally pop a TV dinner into the microwave. Clarissa’s husband must be earning way above the median household income for their area. But two-earner households earning the median or less by far outnumber households like Clarissa’s. Therefore, our experiences count a lot more than hers, from a statistical standpoint, in determining what options are available to “women” in general. Clarissa claims that all privilege talk is just “lazy thinking” that lacks analysis, but no one’s ever provided a better example of jaw dropping unconscious privilege – or lack of analysis – than this post.
In fact, when you think about it, when did more than maybe five percent of American women ever have the option to actually sit around doing nothing while the house and kids were tended by others? The idea that all women have the eternal option of simply mooching off Hubby is one of the most ignorant and embarrassing holdovers from pampered white well-to-do second wave feminism*. Don’t buy into it.
The system Clarissa’s describing also depends on the economic exploitation of underpaid women: women who continue to provide the services on which Clarissa and her husband depend, women who manufacture the goods which Clarissa and her husband divide, and the women whose unpaid labor (child care, elder care, disabled partner care, etc.) make it possible for the working class men to put in the sort of hours that households like Clarissa’s rely upon them (directly or indirectly) to work.
We all look at society from our position upward. We mainly see the people who have it at least as (relatively) easy as we have it, and until some “lazy thinker” babbling about privilege actually causes us to indulge in quite a bit of “analysis”, we don’t notice all the people who have it tougher than we do. Therefore, ironically, society is better understood by people nearer the bottom, who look upward and see all the layers of people having it “easier.” If you’re already near the top and looking upward, then you aren’t in a good position to recognize how many, many people your uninformed “theories” fail to account for. Privilege absolutely does exist, and it’s lazy thinking and failure to analyze and big unexamined, unrecognized privilege that would make someone think it doesn’t.
At least someone nearer the bottom would be aware of all the types of women Anne mentions, and of what’s been happening to salaries in the US in recent years, and that women who do live like Clarissa describes sometimes find themselves in a scary position if the Prince Charming upon whom they’re 100% dependent turns out to have a dark side.
If patriarchy had ever even potentially worked for every single woman – if all us women could all happily marry someone who would take care of us while we did nothing but take up space and provide sex, and in so doing we would never be at risk for abuse, and never be having sex we don’t want to because it’s the only way we know to get our bills paid – do you really think feminism would ever have gotten off the ground? Who would turn down such a sweet deal if it actually worked for women more than maybe 20% of the time? And I think I’m being generous with that estimate: about ten percent of women are lesbians; some other unknown percent are asexuals; a significant percent of women who depend financially on men find themselves abused; and a huge, vast number of women are in a financial class where Clarissa’s “option” is just a fantasy flogged in romance books and movies of the week. This was all true even when single-income households were feasible for a lot of Americans.
And don’t forget that for some women, staying at home isn’t one option among several: it’s the only choice they have due to disabilities that prevent them from working outside the home, if they’re lucky enough to have a partner who can earn for the whole household. Somehow, painting this “choice” as one endless sunny afternoon of lolling on the cushy sofa disappears those women in a whole new painful way.
The truth is, this great “privilege” Clarissa says women enjoy was designed to work for men. Oh, absolutely, it put a difficult burden on a lot of men who weren’t privileged with the ability or correct skin color or connections to earn enough to provide comfortably for a family. We’ve discussed ad nauseum elsewhere on the site how patriarchy hurts men, too, so I’m not going to derail this article with that.
But men created the arrangement by which women could only obtain the resources they needed to survive by spreading their legs to men, either in holy matrimony or on the streets. Men created it, and men benefited from it, because it was the only way to ensure paternity, provide constant availability of women’s bodies for sex and enforce female faithfulness. And if it’s bothering them so much, they can just ensure fair pay and fair employment any ol’ day now, and let up on the pressure for women to marry men and be faithful to men and bear men children, and we’ll all just take care of ourselves and our offspring while men get to run around free of family commitment unless they opt for it, and see how that arrangement works out. Feminists have been proposing this since forever. No problem, guys! Any day now! Guys? Any takers? Was that a tumbleweed that just rolled by?
The system didn’t evolve to make sure women got well taken care of, or else it would have been tweaked until it, you know, actually did that for more than a small minority of women.
*Check out Elizabeth Warren comparing today’s typical two-income household with the single-income household of 1970, because government data indicates that’s the typical household. Now there’s a woman who, coming from humble roots, actually gets what the typical options are for people in the U.S. today, and on a not-entirely-related note, I thoroughly recommend listening to that lecture.
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My dear fiend, “Clarissa” is an immigrant who moved to North America from a third-world country whose language she barely spoke. Almost immediately, she was thrown out of her rented apartment by her husband who took everything she had. Then, she put herself through school while taking care of her teenage sister and working several part-time jobs at any given time. Since the age of 14, the horrible, spoiled Clarissa only lived on the money she made for herself. And continues to do so. She never even allowed any boyfriend or husband to pay for her meal at a restaurant.
Maybe it would be a good idea for you to stop fantasizing about people’s lives and just ask.
Clarissa(Quote) (Reply)
So, Clarissa, what was your actual point, then?
If your point was “The mythologies promulgated in popular culture suggest that I could quit my job tomorrow, &c., but of course that is an imaginary situation that only applies to a small minority of women with social and economic privilege,” that is a different point by far from the point the words you wrote made.
Readers are not psychics. They respond to the words, not the intention behind them. Nor is it a reader’s responsibility to ask someone what they meant—it’s a writer’s responsibility to be clear.
JMS(Quote) (Reply)
….? Can I ask what ANY of what you just posted has to do with Jenn’s post refuting your original point? Where is she fantasizing about anyone’s lives?
Maria(Quote) (Reply)
This. If your reworded clarification was intended as the original point, I’ll be relieved. If it wasn’t, then knowing Clarissa’s background only makes it come off worse.
sbg(Quote) (Reply)
Since you have been in situations where you were desperate, and where the men who society says should support you didn’t, I find it hard to stomach the fact that you think that women as a class could be safe relying on men for their economic support.
My family is upper middle class. We are very privileged. And yet? If my mom had stopped working, and we had lost her insurance, I would have died, slowly. My dad’s insurance claims my illness doesn’t exist, and we can’t pay for my doctor on our own, even after we sold the house. If my doctor stopped working? She’s the only provider for her children, and the only doctor in the country who treats what I have. She treats it because her children and herself have it. If she stopped working, all four of them would die. My mom and my brother ended up on the streets when he was two because her first husband abandoned her, and society told my mom that because she was a woman, her job was in the home. She got an art degree and married a man from a good family, and treated him very well. She still ended up on the street, and then on welfare. Fortunately, my grandmother found out, and took her in, but you know what? My grandfather wouldn’t, and my grandmother had to work to support them both until Mom could get back on her feet. And then she had to work to support herself while my mother worked to support herself. And my mom was damn lucky she had someone to fall back on. If the sitting back and letting the man do it model doesn’t even work for privileged middle class women like my mother and grandmother who does it work for? Who does it take care of? It’s designed to foster dependency that keeps women under the control of men. It takes care of men.
Oh, and anyway? The model postulates that women would take care of the home and the children, and the elderly, and her husband should he fall sick, which is a lot of work. Even managing a staff to do that is a lot of work, and without a staff as nearly all women are, as you know, is extremely hard work. The woman sitting around the house eating bon bons was a post-WWII fantasy.
Attackfish(Quote) (Reply)
I also have a comment regarding this quote (from her blog post):
“If a man chose to stay at home permanently doing his nails and snoozing in front of a soap opera, there would be no similar social acclaim and support for him. He’d be a laughing stock and an object of derision for the rest of his life.”
Then why are there so many men who do exactly this (or not quite…it’s “football and beer” instead of “soap operas and nail-painting”)? Seriously. I have MET men who lived off their wife’s earnings, preferring to stay at home and watch TV or work on their cars or pretend to work on get-rich-quick-schemes. Then there are self-described “pimps” and “playas” who mooch off their women, and far from being denigrated, are sometimes lauded for their ability to manipulate women.
No matter what men do, there will be other men who step in to defend their actions. There is NEVER universal condemnation of actions taken by even a small group of men…there are people who defend men that commit rape and murder. “Mooching off your woman” is small potatoes.
THAT is male privilege: the knowledge that know matter what you do, other men will defend you for doing it.
Jay(Quote) (Reply)
You know, there’s also something misogynistic about an argument that supposes when women aren’t working they’re going to be lazy daisies that only care about the fripperies of their appearance.
Maria(Quote) (Reply)
There is NEVER universal condemnation of actions taken by even a small group of men
You’re forgetting the widespread condemnation of homosexual and transsexual men. Because men are only allowed gender privilege as long as they identify themselves as heterosexual and cisgendered. And when they don’t, they become “the other” along with women, homosexual, transsexual, transgender and bigender people.
That’s the problem with relying on privilege – it can be so easily taken away…
M.C.(Quote) (Reply)
Anecdata alert: In my corporate peer group (25-40 year old white collar West Coast cube slugs), it seems to be the expectation that both partners have profitable day jobs or a damn good excuse for why they don’t (and of course every excuse is picked over and gossiped about such that no excuse is ever good enough). Any deviation from a dual-wage-earning family results in open denigration. So the option for one partner, male or female, to “just stay home eating bon-bons” isn’t really available without serious social consequences.
There’s one guy whose partner is trying to establish a career in the art world, so she doesn’t have a traditional paying job. He is the sole money-earner, with the understanding that if she wanted to, she could work in an office job a few days a week to contribute $$ to the pot, but they both prefer to live frugally and give her full-time mental space to create art without being distracted by TPS reports and corporate crap. She’s not just sitting around eating bon-bons, and as most of us probably know, it’s a hell of a lot easier to paint, write or accomplish other big artistic goals if you’re not leading a dual life as a corporate drone. It’s the whole reason artists’ retreats exist, for example. Even so, after explaining all this, people still give this guy hell behind his back for having a “mooching” partner.
cycles(Quote) (Reply)
I’ve had this experience. I’m disabled and can’t work. I continually have well-meaning female friends “encourage” me to get a job because it would be so much better for me to not be dependent on my husband — and other people who are not nearly so nice about it. I’ve been called a lazy bitch and a mooch, because I can’t work. Apparently my physical problems don’t exist; it’s just a moral failing, and I should pull myself up by my bootstraps and get over it. After all, my friends know plenty of people with my conditions who managed to do it, why can’t I!?
Nonny(Quote) (Reply)
*jawdrop*
My partner (we are not interested in marriage) and I are barely getting by on two incomes–and of the two of us, I’m the only with the BA and MS (he has a high school diploma) and the potential to actually someday earn enough to potentially support most of us, or at least ensure healthcare and retirement for both of us if we last that long. I’m the one with health insurance (usually paid for out of pocket, but I finally have a job that provides insurance and hope to keep it that way) and retirement (I’m also the one with more student loans, and a car loan).
If I quit working, we’d end up homeless very quickly. I hardly know any couples who can survive comfortably on one income–of those few who can (although not all do), it’s usually because one partner is in software development or engineering or Defense, and the other is significantly less educated. In many cases, they have one or more children and the less educated partner would only be able to earn enough to pay for childcare in the current economy, so it makes economic sense for them to stay home (obviously taking care of children, cooking, cleaning, taxes, finances, home repairs, etc.–not lying on the couch). More than a few of them wish they could be working outside the home so they could interact more with other adults. Just about everyone I know who stays home with their kids is doing it out of economic necessity, and yes, it’s often–but not always–the woman who is the less-educated partner and hence who has to replace job with children because of the cost of childcare. Funny, that pattern…it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with systemic sexism, could it?
I’m sort of boggled at the assertion that modern American homemakers (for lack of a better term) only have to “heat TV dinners.” I grew up with two retired parents, not so long ago–so they were both at home, and in theory could contribute equally to the household, right?
My dad’s household duties were these: putting dishes in the dishwasher after dinner (the rest of the time people put their own dishes in the dishwasher), mowing the lawn (delegated to me once I was big enough for the push mower), very occasionally cooking breakfast. The rest of the time he sat around and read, went for walks, hung out at coffeeshops, and sometimes played chess with me.
My mom’s household duties were these: cooking food, doing laundry (sometimes delegated to me once I was older), ironing (ditto), doing the taxes (many people pay a pro for this), handing all of the family’s finances (including my dad’s alimony payments to his ex-wife), handling all family scheduling (doctor and dentist appointments for the three of us, classes and school for me), taking me to school and picking me up when I was in high school (when I didn’t take the bus), cleaning the gutters (I helped when I was older, and her friends and I only talked her into hiring someone to do this when she was about 60), basic electrical and plumbing repair, calling a plumber or electrician for the bigger stuff, general yard maintenance (I helped), and about at least 80% of the parenting. I’m probably forgetting quite a bit.
Now, sure, if someone wants to live on TV dinners, that takes out that duty. If one rents, one doesn’t have to do so much of the maintenance. But everything else? Someone has to take care of that. Does anyone really believe that in a relationship where one partner works 40+ hours a week, they are ALSO taking care of taxes and finances, coordinating all home maintenance, arranging all life logistics, and doing the majority of childcare and parenting?
If so, I have some property on Mars to sell you.
After my parents divorced, my mother, in her 50s, went back to work. She had been an engineer, but out of the job market, she had to go for low-paid office work. She’s in her 60s, heading towards “retirement” age, and will likely have to continue working quite a bit longer. My dad proved very bad at taking care of himself, since he’d never bothered to learn the basic tasks of life (like handling his own finances and feeding himself regularly) that the Marines, a wife, or a girlfriend had done for him since age 18.
Sexism absolutely does hurt men. But not because women can all blithely quit their jobs to be supported by men, and not because male privilege doesn’t exist.
Mel(Quote) (Reply)
Because not everyone is familiar with “cis gendered”, here’s the definition via Wikipedia:
Cisgender (pronounced /ˈsɪsdʒɛndər/) is an adjective used in the context of gender issues and counselling to refer to a class of gender identities formed by a match between an individual’s gender identity and the behavior or role considered appropriate for one’s sex.
And just a note: I’m one of those SAHM mothers with two kids, a dog, and a house to take care of. With a self-employed husband, we agreed before we married that when we had kids, I’d stay home with them. Neither of us wanted to leave our children with strangers (we have some control issues), and although I have at times gone back to work temporarily, he’s managed to do pretty well overall. He’s got the arts diploma, I’ve got the BFA. I don’t eat bon bons and watch TV all day. Laundry, budgeting, food shopping, menu arranging, taking care of constantly sick kids during flu season…if I *had* a paying job, I wouldn’t have one any longer, what with all the days off I’d have had to take just since January kicked in. I’m lucky, though. I can stay home with my kids. Lots of women can’t. My mother couldn’t, though she wanted to be a SAHM.
Gategrrl(Quote) (Reply)
Could that possibly have been her point? I read and re-read the original article, and “Shame on people for suggesting things are unfair to women when we all have the option of sitting around on our duffs and painting our nails while men take care of us!” was the only way I could read it.
And she’s not suggesting anything other interpretation in her response.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
I really feel for you. I can’t remember a time I haven’t known someone who was getting shamed for not being able to work. I’ve heard people openly speculate that someone really COULD come to work (like you said, a moral failing – especially bad when someone has a mental disorder, because “Don’t they have pills for that?” and “Jesus could help you overcome if only you’d let Him” and so on). I’ve also known people who absolutely know and acknowledge there is no way a particular person could take any of the jobs theoretically available to her and there’s no question about it… and yet they go on to talk about how she’s “getting away with” not working, as if it’s really just a big scam and they envy her for thinking of it first. It puts my jaw on the floor, because I don’t know how to accomplish that level of double-think. Seriously, how??
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Oh, lord and lady, if I had a penny for every time I’ve heard that I’d be cured if I just turned to Jesus… >_<
It's fucked up. I would love to work if I could. If my physical issues weren't so bad, I'd be more able to work on my writing career, even if I continued to stay home. As it is, I have such pain and brain fog that I can't focus enough to be creative most of the time, and much of my day is spent blathering around the Internet or killing things in World of Warcraft. Both of which get really boring after awhile when they're all you can freaking do, so the people who sigh and say "You're so luuuucky"… I'd really love to have them spend a week or two in my shoes and then see how lucky they think I am.
Nonny(Quote) (Reply)
Her comment dismissing class privilege was telling:
As to class, I find it to be completely irrelevant. People marry into different classes all the time. I have a friend who is from an indigent immigrant class. She married an investment banker and now sits there doing her nails all day long. Again, notice that I used third person singular, not plural.
I call foul on her claim that using third person is her saying “I’m not projecting one experience on all women” when she she uses the one experience to wipe out the concept of class privilege for everyone. Not every woman gets to marry rich. Doesn’t she realize it’s numerically impossible as there’s not enough rich men for every woman? What planet is she living on?
I wonder if she has some contempt for her immigrant friend who married the banker, and for other women that the NY Time talks because she sees them as having an easy life and she’s taking that contempt out on all women. She reminds me of Childfree Abby (who makes me want to jab forks in my eyes) with Childfree Abby’s view of “women’s independence” being that we freeloading,hysterical, baby-obsessed women need to learn that we need to “be responsible” and “stop whining” if we want respect.
Lika(Quote) (Reply)
Her responses to commenter’s disagreements made me very uncomfortable.
She said one person was being hysterical, and made the claim that her post was just to be viewed as her own anecdote and people shouldn’t infer any universal application she may or may not have intended–and yet the title of her post and her description for it at Feministe implies that she did intend it as something applicable on a large scale. That was what triggered my initial aghast reaction. It would be one thing to say “I don’t think gender privilege exists in my relationship” and another to say “because of my relationship or hypothetical ability within my relationship gender privilege does not exist across the board.”
The Other Anne(Quote) (Reply)
I had a few minutes where I was so unsure as to whether or not I knew you from another part of the internet. I have a web-friend from a nerd forum named Nonny who identifies as pagan and having disabilities so I totally facebook and blog-stalked you for a minute but I think you’re different people. If the name “Annibal” means nothing to you feel free to ignore my awkward awkwardness!
In other news, I’m sorry people concerntroll you irl. Unsolicited advice from people who supposedly care but fail to empathize with your individual situation can be very annoying. My dad tells me all the time to just be more confident, assertive, and ambitious…completely ignoring my social anxieties that literally make that the most difficult thing I can do besides getting through a day without fixating on how awkward that interaction was, or how I sounded so stupid when I said that one thing, or do I really want to go to the store to get food even though I might buy so much that I’ll have to go through the checkout lines with an actual person and totally screw up that interaction too?
Urgh. Sorry to make that all about me. Being physically able doesn’t even guarantee that leaving the house and working is an easy thing, and when I get too meek and stay home it’s torture because all I do is berate myself for being so shy.
The Other Anne(Quote) (Reply)
Uh, which nerd forum? I post some on Border House and WoW_Ladies and Inclusive Geeks on LJ. And a few other WoW forums here and there. But I’m awful with remembering names. Before I started using Nonny for everything… well, don’t ask about trying to keep user names straight. >_>
Seriously, I could fill a book with all the concerntroll things I’ve heard from people that are totally meaning to be helpful. The folks that drop it after I’ve said “tried it, didn’t work” don’t bother me, but then there are the ones that keep at it and try to make it out like I didn’t work hard enough and if I’d only tried harder…!! *resists urge to throttle certain people*
I totally get the meek and shy thing, too, as I have a fairly severe social anxiety disorder. Even if I didn’t have the physical problems, the anxiety would still be a huge issue.
Nonny(Quote) (Reply)
Very much so. There’s no way to interpret it but as a blanket, and shockingly false, statement about women in general. Privilege is about groups of people, so lack of privilege is, too.
Jennifer Kesler(Quote) (Reply)
Nerdforum: Exisle. Started as a fan forum for Andromeda, back in the day. I’m 100% positive that you are not the Nonny I know as I am friends with her on Facebook, but I had to make even more sure!
It’s not a common name, though it is a REALLY cool name.
Well, I hope concerntrolls the world over take a hint and stop bothering people, for your sake and others’!
The Other Anne(Quote) (Reply)
Nope, that’s not one I’ve hung out on. Funny, though, because I think I’ve only run across a handful of other people with the name in all the time I’ve been on the ‘net!
Nonny(Quote) (Reply)
I don’t know how you do it. Every single time I have a migraine, I will get someone asking me if I’ve taken any aspirin for it or get repeated references to how red my face becomes. Look, I’m in considerable distress and it manifests by flushing skin, okay, and no, I like to suffer so I haven’t even attempted to get rid of this pain. ::eyeroll::
That’s minor and I still want to smack people.
*hugs*
sbg(Quote) (Reply)
Trufax, and I apologize for overlooking the problems faced by non-heteronormative males.
Jay(Quote) (Reply)
What boggles me most (not that the rest isn’t mind-boggling on its own) is that she apparently believes that once married a woman automatically reaches a neverchanging status quo. Umm, in what world does she live, that men never divorce? That a divorced partner gets alimony payments until the end of times or that the other partner will cough up the money, regularly, without delay, always the same sum? (I know there are differences in law, but my unterstanding is that in US like in Germany alimony payments nowadays exist only for children, not for divorcees.) Or was it meant ironical, judging from the comment? I don’t even unterstand.
That aside, there wouldn’t be a greater horror for me to know that I would have to stay at home until the day I die, doing nothing but polishing my nails. I mean, I wish to have enough money someday so that I wouldn’t have to work for a living, but only because I would be able to work on something I like and doing volunteer work. But also being completely dependent on someone else while I am dying from boredom? Hell, no.
Elee(Quote) (Reply)
Also, by what logic does she call class irrelevant while talking about marrying into a different class? Class would only be irrelevant if class differences didn’t exist at all, but they do, which she acknowledges.
Dismissing something as irrelevant while being aware of its existence… now what do we call that again? Oh yeah: privilege.
Sunatic(Quote) (Reply)
ZOMG ZOMG SO MUCH THIS. There was a blogger awhile back saying some horribly offensive things about mental health, and every time someone would question her, she’d say “BUT I HAD x, y, AND z EXPERIENCE AND THAT GIVES ME THE RIGHT TO MAKE BLATANT GENERALIZATIONS LIKE WHOA”. Except, NONE OF THAT was in her original post–we were expected to GUESS it, I suppose. THank you so much–you summed up in one sentence what has been festering inside me for months. I feel lots better now! XD
Chai Latte(Quote) (Reply)
Seriously. Where the hell was I when the rich husbands were being handed out?
Chai Latte(Quote) (Reply)
Probably snoozing while watching a soap and letting your nails dry. It’s not your potential rich husband’s fault if you can’t make it work!
Maria(Quote) (Reply)
Dunno, every person I know with any amount of money worked their asses off for it, or got extended degrees in order to earn the big bucks, or both. Where do you find these rich guys with inherited wealth? Certainly not at the middle class level I grew up in.
Gategrrl(Quote) (Reply)
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