Ever notice how, in TV or movies, a beautiful woman can have any guy she wants? She doesn’t even have to lift her cute little finger and beckon: they’re all the time flocking around and hitting on her.
I just wanted to let the guys who make these movies and shows know: this doesn’t often happen in real life. Actually, I’m not sure it ever does.
Real life is a lot stranger than fiction. Here in L.A., I’ve met more than my fair share of unbelievably hot women. Over and over, I hear the same story: “I thought I was just ugly all through high school, because nobody ever asked me out, and I sat at home alone every prom night.” Or another variation: they still don’t think they’re pretty, because still no one approaches them. Sadly, I’ve even seen some of them fall for the only men narcissistic enough to hit on them, and put up with mental abuse from him because they don’t realize they deserve better. And I’ve watched men drool after these women like they’re seeing an angel in the flesh… then turn away with a great pretense of disinterest the instant she turns to look at them.
Human beings – and that includes men – hate being rejected, or making fools of themselves. Sometimes it’s easier to resign yourself to a clearly attainable goal than it is to aim for something spectacular and lose.
But the why doesn’t really matter. My point is just to inform male TV and movie makers that hot women in real life frighten men away more often than they draw them in. Most guys I know are surprised when I describe this to them, until they start to think about their own reactions to paragons of womanly perfection. They just assume that other men, more confident men, are hitting on those women they won’t go near. A very small number of them figure it out, and those are the guys who end up with the beautiful girls, and leave everyone wondering, “How did he get with her?”
So, TV and movie makers, if you’re going for a complete fantasy, then by all means depict your beautiful women characters as people who get hit on by everyone they meet. But if you want to be real and interesting, then show us beautiful characters who wonder why they never get offers. Show us moderately attractive people who can barely keep track of the offers they’re getting. Show us a little of everything, like real life does, and save the suspension of disbelief for your plot leaps.
Of course, in my ideal world – on screen or in real life – we’d all appreciate many, many forms of physical beauty and forms of beauty that go beyond the physical. It’s tragic to think of beauty being the first criteria we use in evaluating another human being.