Can you call yourself a feminist if you still think the man should pay entirely for every date between a man and a woman?
I never thought so. Equality means equal opportunity and equal responsibility. One argument against shared payment is that women still don’t have equal opportunity. We still aren’t earning quite as much as men. To this I say: then maybe we should stop dating more than we can afford to, until that changes. What better way to inspire men to back us on the importance of equal pay for equal work, than letting them ask out their girlfriends only to hear, “I’m sorry, I can’t afford another date until next payday”? [This suggestion is tongue-in-cheek. Edited for clarity.]
The most persuasive argument I’ve heard in favor of expecting men to pay for dates is: because women spend so much more money on getting ready. This is undeniably true, on average. Most of us remove hair from much of our body. We moisturize. We use conditioner. We wear makeup. We use products in our hair. Our clothes and shoes are generally more expensive, and we’re expected to own more of them. We’re expected to carry handbags. These expenditures add up, even for very frugal women.
Men like to whine that they don’t force these appearance standards on women, that women do it to themselves. This is bullshit. How many women do you know who keep their hair unconditioned, don’t moisturize and don’t shave, and still get dates? From men? While male heterosexuality is signaled by a cheap, efficient hygiene routine that leaves the man looking slightly better than when he rolled out of bed, the same routine in a woman is culturally coded to indicate we’re lesbians. No, if we don’t take the time to alter our appearance to something unnatural, that means we don’t like sex with men. The absurdity, it blows gaskets of the mind.
Anyway, what are your thoughts on who should pay for dates, and why?