Note: this post is aimed at people not human enough to realize that rape is a serious issue, and is scorchingly facetious in spots. While I’ve tried to avoid making cracks that might bother actual humans, it’s entirely possible I’ve failed, in which case I apologize in advance. Anyone not sensitive to the issue, I hope I have offended deeply Go cry in your beer.
A couple of weeks ago, I saw my 1,018th implied rape of a woman on TV. It was behind closed doors, kinda vague. There was no real fallout or anything. It was just kinda… not there, but there. And I gave myself a couple of weeks to see if I chilled out about it – in anger management therapy, they suggest counting to ten when you feel your temper blowing – but I didn’t.
I thought at first for this article, maybe I should explain some things about rape – about the physical damage it causes (sometimes chronic for the rest of the person’s life), about how it happens to men and boys as well as women and girls, etc., and what it’s really about. Then I realized I have no indication men read this site, and any woman who doesn’t get what the big deal about rape is (yes, I’ve known a few who believe it only happens to wanton hussies who deserve it), will probably not be swayed by anything I say, and had better just keep hoping she never has to learn the hard way. So here’s a link to a site that offers simple factual info on rape for any of the 3-4 estimated readers I have who don’t already take rape seriously.
So, realizing that none of the male TV producers who should read about this are likely to be at my little site, I tried to think of another way to make the point. When negotiation fails, aggression results. I can be aggressive. I don’t see honesty or equality coming about the easy way on this issue, so let’s try an ugly way.
Let’s have more shows about men getting raped. If it’s good story for women, it must be good for men, too. And it does happen in real life, even though men so rarely report it that people tend not to be very aware. It can even be more psychologically traumatic for men because they have so much more invested in “being on top”, which women have had beaten out of them from the time they left the womb and their lack of a penis was disclosed to everyone present.
If you guys will make more shows about raped men, I promise to watch. I’m not sure whether you think male viewers find it sort of titillating (on the sly, of course), or if you think it’s the only way they can feel sympathy for a female character, or what. Whatever it is, I promise to boost your ratings and buy from your advertisers if you’ll just show more and more men undergoing implied hideous brutalization and walking away like they’re neither physically nor mentally bruised, thus trivializing rape for everyone instead of just women. I would prefer that these implied rapes be by other men – you know how we gals get off on that homoerotic stuff – because it just doesn’t seem to have the same effect when it’s a woman raping a man. For example, when Stargate SG-1 presented an implied, behind-closed-doors drug-induced rape of a man by a female, a lot of male viewers reported that it wasn’t rape because it didn’t apparently involve the male being penetrated in any way, and voted it among the “sexiest Stargate episodes ever”. I want to make sure it’s clear to male viewers that this isn’t sexy, because it’s clear to me that women being raped is not sexy. And I can’t think of anything but a demonstration that’s going to get the violence of rape across to people who haven’t the cranial capacity to think it through on their own.
After all, white guys suddenly figured out how evil they thought a system of skin-color based promotions was when it happened for non-white guys instead of them, for a change. Maybe if they get to experience first-hand the trivialization of one of the most traumatic experiences a person of either gender can experience, they will demand that this horrible sick stuff be taken off the air, and that’s when we step forward and say, “But it’s been happening for 50 years, just to women – you were fine with it then. What the heck are you saying?”
What’s good for the gander is good for the goose.